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Welcome to the Anal-Only Lifestyle, Where Straight People Go Butts-Only

For these folks, vaginas are completely off-limits. It’s only butts from here on out, no matter how trying the lifestyle may be

Earlier this month, the anonymous author of the “Anal-Only Lifestyle” blog published a persuasive call-to-arms entitled “Why Vaginal Sex Is Outdated.” It’s a short post, but it’s straight to the point: In the author’s eyes, old-school penetration is totally pointless if you’re fucking for pleasure, especially as it requires the use of “often-harmful hormonal birth control” and “physical barriers.” Anyway, they continue, most women can’t cum from vaginal penetration alone — so why bother?

Apparently, the only possible solution is to “move past vaginal sex and adopt the anal-only lifestyle” (AO for short). It’s one thing to enjoy the occasional ass-eating session or to dabble in pegging, but acolytes of AO take butt stuff extremely seriously.  “Everyone has their own little take on what anal-only means to them,” reads a disclaimer at the bottom of the site’s official forum. “The only thing that’s strictly not allowed in the lifestyle is vaginal penetration.” Seemingly, the goal is to “train the body to achieve orgasm from anal sex alone.”

These asshole aficionados constitute a small but growing niche. The r/AnalOnlyLifestyle subreddit has 19,000 members already, the vast majority of which — at least according to posts made in the last month — appear to be straight guys, both those looking to fuck and get fucked. Here, they share crowd-sourced anal tips like fucking without “squelching” and nailing prostate orgasm techniques. There’s even an in-depth breakdown of the “Anal-Only Diet,” which contains plenty of fiber and, sadly, no “messy” foods. In the life of an AO devotee, there are no donuts allowed.

Despite the subreddit’s public nature, the moderators of this ass-centric forum prove elusive. Press requests go ignored, yet a glance at one mod’s comment history reads like the diary of an eager, online missionary determined to spread their faith. It only takes a quick scroll to find a few questionable comments: “Pussies are meant to be pretty and un-fucked decorations,” reads one. “Un-fucked, untouched pussy is the best pussy,” reads another. “A woman is most appealing when her empty pussy is shown off but ignored while her asshole is getting fucked good.”

Seemingly, this mod isn’t the only guy with a clitoral aversion. In another pseudonymous post on the blog, entitled “Heterosexuality and Vaginal Disinterest,” a guy named Joe explains that he simply can’t bear the thought of vaginal sex, not because there’s something inherently wrong with it, he simply prefers anal. Many AO disciples argue that this is perfectly normal — why would the anus (and prostate) be so rich with pleasurable nerve endings if it wasn’t meant to be fucked?

Plenty of straight guys on the forum say they’re branded “gay” for feeling this way, but they don’t seem to care. Whether they’re being fucked or fucking someone else, sexuality doesn’t really seem to matter — most of them just seem incredibly interested in butt stuff, and they’re exhausted by the assumption that genitals define sexual orientation. “Why do we think sexuality has to do with genitals rather than with sex and gender?” Joe continues in his blog post. “I am attracted to women. I just prefer anal sex rather than vaginal sex, and will not do vaginal because anal is more natural for me.”

Unsurprisingly, it’s hard for guys like Joe to meet women who only want to have backdoor sex, and there’s much consternation on the subreddit to that end. That said, there are some AO women, and they appear to subscribe to the lifestyle in varying degrees. While some beg to have their hole violated 24/7, others seek tips on how to reach that elusive anal-only orgasm with no clitoral stimulation at all. It’s pretty hard, though — one manages to achieve it after days of orgasm denial, an hour-long massage and plenty of moaning encouraged by her husband, but she’s still committed to reaching AO orgasm with a little less of a time commitment. Then, there are the women who find vaginal sex painful or otherwise irritating, due to conditions like vaginismus. For them, the forum is a place to meet like-minded comrades and speak about the shame they’re unfairly made to feel for not wanting anything inside their vaginas.

Some women on the forum are still skeptical, though. In one post, a straight guy explains his deep-seated revulsion with vaginal sex before asking women of the forum how they feel about exclusively taking anal. “I’m not saying you’re wrong for having your preference, but to say it’s sad that women don’t want to exclusively do something most of us find sexually unsatisfying because you like it seems a bit selfish,” a user replies. “If you can find AO women, that’s awesome for you. And hopefully for her, too! Just don’t be surprised when the vast majority of women want sex in their sex hole.”

Nonetheless, few people on the sub seem to have have gone full anal-only. Most of the forum’s comments and posts are from those looking for some sort of advice about anal and longer-term prep for an eventual AO lifestyle. So I did the members a solid by reaching out to anal expert and cosmetic surgeon Evan Goldstein. As the forum acknowledges, an AO lifestyle requires real commitment — Goldstein compares it to “working out at the gym,” advising gradual anal dilation over the course of four to six weeks to truly prep your body for regular anal poundings. “There are plenty of anal dilation kits out there, but I prefer ones that are made of glass and come in three sizes,” he says. “They provide just the right friction and allow the spreading of lube in a 360-degree manner.” 

Train your hole right, and it seems pretty straightforward. “Maybe it’s a fun challenge, maybe you just don’t like vaginal penetration and think butts are neat,” reads the forum’s description. “I guarantee you, anal-only is more common than you think, and it’s only trending upwards.” 

Bottoms upwards, of course.