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A Naturist Explains How to Apply Sunscreen on Your Dick

Because it’s an area where you never went to feel the burn

Unless you’re a naturist, you’ve probably never had to ask yourself the following question: How do I rub sunscreen on my dick without looking like a pervert? On the one hand (apologies for the pun), if you’re going to lay out in the sun without swim trunks on, your dick skin will be exposed to UV rays that will definitely burn it to a crisp. (Think of what happens when your feet see the sun for the first time each summer — then multiply it by like a million for an area of your body that’s probably experienced very little sunlight.) On the other, applying lotion on your flaccid dick could potentially get you arrested for public indecency or inspire an unwanted erection that also could lead to an indecency charge.

So what’s a guy with a little European flair to do?

First, it’s important to note that the skin on the head of your dick (at least for circumcised men) is much more delicate than the rest of your skin. “The outer layer of normal skin is a lot tougher than the outer surface of our glans,” reports Suragel.com, which has a rooted interest in the matter since it sells penis skincare products. “The outer surface of the glans is dekeratinized and is made up of living cells. This gives it a soft, delicate feel similar to the inside of our cheeks or eyelids. While this suppleness of our glans is important for the sensory functions of the penis, it also makes our glans much more vulnerable to potential irritants.”

All of which means that applying — and reapplying — sunblock to protect your exposed and very delicate penis skin is a must unless you’re prepared to deal with a swollen mushroom top, like this guy on Yahoo! Answers who burned the fuck out of his: “I went to the tanning salon (beds) for the first time two days ago, and for some reason, the worker there failed to tell me that I should cover my ‘private parts.’ I should of used common sense, but I didn’t. Anyway, things went fine, but the next day, I noticed that my penis was sunburned! Holy **** right?!?! So now, I’m stuck here with a burnt penis and the tip has even started to swell up. I’m guessing from the irritation?”

In an effort to help you avoid the same mistake, I contacted naturist/blogger Dan Carlson, a frequent purveyor of both American and European nude beaches. He says that first-timers should consider using a towel or apply sunscreen on their dick in a private area (e.g., a nearby men’s room) if they’re uncomfortable doing so in front of others. “After the first few times, though, it gets normalized,” he promises. “Like washing your genitals with soap in the shower.” He adds that if you’re the type of person who gets aroused every time you apply soap to your penis, just be mindful of your surroundings. “Or just know that you have a quick trigger,” he jokes.

More largely (again, pardon the pun), Carlson says that the most important piece of advice he can give has nothing to do with sunscreen. Instead, it’s getting over the fear of the whole “nudity thing.” Especially because chances are that no one other than you cares. “The first five minutes you think everyone is looking at you, but after 10 minutes, you realize no one is,” he explains.

So now you have absolutely no reason not to use protection.