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Why All Gemini Men (Like Trump) Are Sluts, Per an Astrologist

In the search for answers about the Trump presidency, his one-night-stand with adult film star Stormy Daniels might be the easiest to explain — Trump is a contradictory, hoe-ass Gemini.

Gary the Numbers Guy certainly knows his history. Three other hoe-ass Geminis: John F. Kennedy; Prince (the Gemini King #RIP); and Russell Brand.

As MEL’s resident astrologer, I can confirm that he’s not wrong about what the stars say about their oversized libidos. They are, indeed, horny af. A few other things to know about their slutty ways:

They Constantly Talk About Fucking

Geminis are completely open about how easy seduction is for them. How do I know this? It’s not because I’m an astrologer. It’s because Geminis talk about it — ALL THE FUCKING TIME. In fairness, it works for them. People fall into their traps because their sext game is the most on-lock in the whole Zodiac. Not that it means anything — to them at least. They mostly do it for sport. So while you may have gotten laid, you also may be left with a broken heart.

Tupac, another legendary hoe-ass Gemini

Monogamy Isn’t Their Strong Suit

Geminis will always have multiple romances going on at once. Some of this is preemptive, too. That is, they’re just sizing you up and figuring out how to work you into their rotation. Variety is the spice of their life. Conveniently, this also ensures that they don’t have any time left for themselves to, you know, be introspective and take responsibility for their own actions.

They Have No Shame in Their Game

It’s impossible to slut-shame a Gemini. They pride themselves on their ability to bounce between relationships and flirtations. Again, conveniently, when confronted with the fact that they’ve been notoriously unfaithful, they’re incredibly good at spinning it as your fault. After all, you’re the buzzkill who never wants to have any fun.

They Want You to Catch Them

Nine times out of 10, if you catch a Gemini cheating, that was their plan all along. It’s their way of breaking things off as they know the easiest way out of a relationship is to sabotage it. So while it might seem like they’re fucking up, they know exactly what they’re doing.

Of course, the only person better at playing this game is a Pisces, as they’re the chameleon of the Zodiac, and therefore, a Gemini’s Kryptonite because they’ll make sure a Gemini is completely seen.

Stormy Daniels’ sign?

Pisces.