Illustrations by Ross Hillary

Who’s Getting Head With a Condom On?

“It felt like wearing socks with sandals”

I was on Reddit’s sex forums asking a question that had haunted me for years:

Who’s getting head with a condom on?

Of course, sex educators will tell you that an unprotected BJ could spread HPV, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes or hepatitis B. Even though such warnings might do little to deter most ladies and gents, as it turns out, Warren Sapp — the former NFL player who was busted soliciting prostitutes for a $600 condom-on blowjob — is not alone in his experience of safety-first head. Below are a few other people we found who have used a condom during oral sex.

Caldwig, 30

I’ve gotten blow jobs through condoms a couple of times. I didn’t think it would work, but I was pleasantly surprised. Physically, the sensations are about 80 percent there, which is my experience with vaginal sex as well. Mentally, it was less exciting because it just seemed sterile and less intimate, plus coming in a woman’s mouth is a big turn-on. I also was conscious of what must have been an unpleasant taste, though both women said it wasn’t that bad. It likely varies widely by brand.

Sage, 22

In college I once got a banana-flavored condom from the Student Activities Center and thought it would be fun to try (because banana!). My then-boyfriend and I tried it. It tasted bad, like latex plus weird, artificial banana flavor. It didn’t mask the typical condom taste at all, only added an additional layer of bad. Plus, it felt kind of dumb. Maybe because the whole thing was dumb — thinking a banana-flavored condom was somehow adventurous. It seemed pointless to give a blow job with a condom on. We ended up abandoning it fairly quickly.

Andrew, 24

The blowjob was my ex-girlfriend’s best friend. She showed up and had like 25 condoms and warming lube. It was all going down when she pulled out a plum-flavored condom. The flavoring makes your mouth water more than normal, so I wound up with a pile of spittle all over my nutsack. It felt like wearing socks with sandals. I didn’t finish.

Chaz, 35

I went to a brothel in Curacao and slept with six prostitutes at once. I used a different condom for each woman, and all of them gave me head at some point. It was part of the brothel’s rules, so I didn’t have much of a choice.

Dave, 31

I’ve done this exactly once. My high school girlfriend and I would park up in the woods and go down on each other, but she never wanted me to come in her mouth because she had this insane gag reflex. She couldn’t even swallow prescription pills without nearly choking to death.

I suppose at some point she felt bad that every blowjob ended with me tapping her on the shoulder so she could jerk me to the finish line. This time around, she procured a vanilla-flavored condom from god knows where and said we should try it. Being a teenage male, I had no problem getting aroused and getting it on.

She starts going at it, and I’m having a reasonably good time — though, of course, I’m skeeved out by the sensation of having an additional, artificial layer of rubbery skin kinda sloppily tugged up and down against my dick. There was probably way too much lubrication happening. Plus, I was sweatily nervous about what was going to happen next.

The orgasm itself was colored by the vague discomfort that using a condom always invites — like, jizz shoots out pretty forcefully, right? At a notable escape velocity? But instead you can acutely feel how it has nowhere to go and is collecting in this huge bead at the tip of your cock, and almost as soon as it starts happening, you can’t wait to get the condom off. It’s this intensely claustrophobic experience. Like your dick is drowning in its own spunk. I don’t think my girlfriend was a big fan of feeling a reservoir tip inflate with semen in her mouth, either. We flung the condom out in a parking lot and never discussed it after sharing an initial embarrassment.

Chip, 42

Yes. It was good. She did it from a 69-ish position so her buns were up in my face. That was a turn on as well.

Tierney Finster is an Editor at MEL. She previously wrote about men who fetishize women who smoke.

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