If you ever find yourself motoring across the strip malls and suburban sprawl of L.A.’s San Fernando Valley, know that as you steer your air-conditioned Prius along its sun-bleached byways, you are surfing the atmosphere of a well-kept local secret. It’s a big secret — 5-foot-8 to be exact — but it’s also one whose mop of honey-colored hair, deep brown eyes and encyclopedic knowledge of the female orgasm make it a difficult one to keep.
His name? The O-Man.
His superpower? Making women come.
I know, I know.
But bear with me.
Few people have heard of him, and even fewer have seen him in the flesh. He prefers it that way — he doesn’t want the fame. Like a specter, he materializes when needed and disappears when not, lavishing his patronage with a rare, proprietary orgasmic technique but imploring them to only share his name with those who need him most.
I first heard whispers about the fabled O-Man on Facebook earlier this year. A number of women in a private group I’m in had started posting reviews of his services, and I’d often seen his name sandwiched between phrases like “best orgasm ever” and “the man, the myth, the squirting legend.” He’d built up quite the zeitgeist; for every post singing his praises, there were tens of comments from women saying they’d heard stories about him and that they couldn’t wait to try him out. From what I could tell, he was kinky and offered an optional element of dominance to whatever it was he did, but plenty of women said they saw him for other reasons, naming him as one of the few respectful, emotionally intelligent cis guys they could trust with their bodies.
I ignored their glowing reviews for months. Anyone pompous enough to self-anoint with a third-person superhero title like “The Orgasm Man” sounded like a clown, and I had a hard time believing that the face behind the name was anyone other than a 50-year-old cosplayer with a THC lube company and two tickets to Burning Man. Fleshing out the fictionalized avatar I had of him in my head even further, I imagined that he was probably one of those wannabe cult leader guys, fresh off the Orgasmic Meditation vine and eager to inflate his own ego by telling women the “right” way to come. You know, basically Doc Antle from Tiger King.
But there was one post about him that made me stop and reconsider. It was from a woman I’d later come to know as Lilly, a 34-year-old actress in L.A. “You guys,” she wrote. “When I say MY MIND IS BLOWN, it doesn’t even do it justice. Words cannot express the array of emotions I felt last night, after I playfully and easily, made myself come 5 TIMES IN A ROW. That might not seem like much to you, but it’s more than I have ever been able to before.”
She went on to explain that she’d been a “tough nut to crack” for years, struggling to come even when she was extremely turned on. On a whim, she booked herself an appointment with the O-Man — who she’d heard could help — and gone to meet him with high hopes and low expectations. During their first session, she “screamed and moaned” throughout six game-changing orgasms, and a few weeks later, she was able to get off on her own. “The work we’ve done has impacted every aspect of my life,” she tells me. “I can now easily come multiple times. I’m stronger and taller. I feel lighter but somehow more rooted. And my confidence has grown tremendously.”
Apparently, he also fixed a misalignment in her back.
Scrolling through the overjoyed ovations other women had written, it appeared he’d fixed their backs, too. And their knees. And their necks. In fact, every single post about the O-Man’s orgasmic capabilities also relayed that he’d performed some sort of miraculous postural assessment on them, using what he found to align and stabilize their spines and pelvises in a way that made it easier for them to come. Far easier, actually: In one account, a woman wrote he made her come 30 times in two hours. Another said she’d never been able to squirt with a partner before, but with his guidance, she “gushed” 20 times. And Lilly, who hadn’t had a good orgasm in years, came so easily and frequently on her own after working with him that she wrote it made her cry. “I really think this guy’s got something special to offer,” she wrote in her post.
Still skeptical, I message a few other of his clients to see if these stories are flukes. They aren’t — three additional women told me he’d made them come harder and more often than they ever had before, two of whom said that their first orgasm had come from him. Sarah, a pseudonymous 47-year-old attorney, even said that the orgasms she was able to have after a couple of O-Man sessions “completely changed [her] biology.” An autoimmune condition had ravaged her hormones and left her body in “constant fight or flight,” but now that he’d shown her new ways to come — mostly by releasing tension in her hips — her estrogen, testosterone, progesterone and thyroid hormones had all bounced back to normal. She’d even become more fertile and was, for the first time in years, seriously considering starting a family. “I don’t use the word genius lightly, but this man is a fucking genius,” she says. “The world needs to know.”
As I paged through the blood and fertility test results she emailed me to verify, my skepticism turned to fascination. Who the hell was this guy? And what kind of sorcery was he performing on people’s spines?
His website — a black and gold Geocities-like set-up featuring little more than a contact form and some anonymous testimonials — was little help. It made no mention of his identity, methods or background, and other than the aforementioned Facebook posts, there was nothing — nothing — about him online. As the mystery loomed larger, it dawned on me that the only way to find out who he was was to ask him myself.
A few days later, after a string of emails in which I swore on my grandmother’s grave to protect his identity, I find myself sitting face-to-face with the black abyss of his oncoming Zoom call. He had agreed to meet with me to spill the secrets of the female orgasm he knew so much about, and had decided to invite me into his bedroom to do it. This, he tells me, would be his first extensive interview.
But when the camera flickers on, I’m greeted by a much different O-Man than the one I was expecting. Sitting cross-legged before me is a 35-year-old man wearing a tan shirt with the words “SO HORNY” emblazoned across his chest, a cartoon triceratops frolicking beneath them in a pun-like display.
He looks nice, goofy, even — a heady contrast to the imposing set of chains that dangle on the pale yellow wall behind him. A strange black box lurk below them, and after a second, I recognize its shape: It’s a Cowgirl, a massive, rideable sex toy so strong and unapologetic in its vibrations that it could shake a hole into the ozone layer if it wanted to. Continuing on with my ocular tour of his room, I see that he’s sitting next to a Hitachi Magic Wand, a device he’s presently ignoring as he fiddles with the only non-vibrating thing in the room, a snack bar encased in what appears to be impenetrable plastic.
“Come on… dang thing,” he mumbles, trading his hands for a screwdriver to pierce the packaging with. I can’t help but smile — this is a man who has accomplished the Herculean task of unlocking the female orgasm, yet when it comes to humbler pursuits like snacking, the O-Man is just a man.
“Be gentle on me,” he says. “I’m shy.”
We start off with some basics. He lets me call him “M,” and I quickly learn that he’s a recovering neurotic, that the “O-Man” moniker is a play on his favorite horror movie, The Omen, and that, despite the rave reviews he gets, he doesn’t want a soul to know what he does.
“What do you do, though?” I respond, eyeing the chains in the background. “Why is the entire internet talking about you making them come?”
“I stabilize people’s spines and align their pelvises,” he replies, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I fix their posture and mobilize their joints. It’s pretty simple, just a 20- to 30-minute massage followed by two hours of coming.”
More specifically, he places them in particular positions based on their alignment — usually with their pelvis rotated forward — and, with their consent, uses either his hands or a vibrator to get them off for as long as they tell him to. If they’re into bondage, he puts them in restraints that “open up their lower backs” or “stabilize their necks,” taking care to tailor the position to their particular needs. Often, says Lilly, he’ll throw in some affirming domming if it’s okay with the client, asking, with his palm on her clit, if she “deserves” the pleasure she’s feeling. As she comes, he’ll have her tell him “yes.”
Boyfriends and husbands don’t know what to think. Some are supportive and gleefully welcome his expertise; others consider it “cheating” and are bruised by the fragile suggestion that anything other than their short-lived erection could provide their partners pleasure. Even so, M says he’ll happily work with couples — either together or separately — but he’s wholly not cool with a client lying to their partner about what they’re doing together. “I’ve had some tricky experiences with that,” he says, explaining that one client’s relationship ended after her partner found out she was seeing him.
But if it’s a situation in which the only way she can come is to see him under the radar, he’s willing to consider it. “No one should have to be in a relationship where their partners don’t care about their pleasure,” he tells me. “That’s just awful to think about.”
Pre-COVID, most of his clients came to see him for these things in person, but now, many of them book sessions with him online. Almost everything he does IRL can be done over Zoom, he says, and all for a surprisingly affordable exchange rate that he sets based on what a client can give.
“Here,” he offers. “I’ll show you.”
Picking up his Magic Wand, he tells me that his “neck used to really fucking hurt.” “Watch this,” he says.
Pressing the giant vibrator into a neck muscle called the supraspinatus, I can literally see his shoulder drop down as his muscles relax. “See?” he says. “I can breathe better. My jaw is less tense. All this thing does is alleviate soft-tissue tension. The jaw muscle is connected to the neck, the neck is connected to the back and the back is connected to the pelvis, which is where your fun bits are. It’s all connected.”
He wants to know if I want to try.
I tell him I didn’t come here to gawk.
Leaning into the camera, he squints at my fully clothed body and the way I’m sitting on the couch, scanning my posture like a chemist studying a formula out of a textbook. “Aha!” he shouts. “You’ve got batwing clavicles. I bet your left hip is tighter than your right hip and your right arm is internally rotated.”
Before I can stammer “Y-y-yes?” he has me pressing a vibrating toothbrush — the only vibrating thing in my vicinity — into my hip flexor. The vibration is key for releasing muscle tension, he says, explaining that a few minutes of strong vibration can have the same effect as a deep and powerful stretch.
My pecs are next on the toothbrush attack list, followed by an exercise that mobilizes my subscapularis, and later, my adductors. With every muscle or joint I release, I feel lighter, tinglier and more energetic, but also more relaxed at the same time. It’s weird, yet feels good. I wonder what it would feel like to come.
Most often, he uses a vibrator or his hands for that leg of the journey, going so far as to exercise his mitts for up to five hours a week with arm-wrestling grips and rolling deadlift handles to make sure they’re strong and mobile enough for hours-long orgasm sessions. “A lot of men have trouble conceptualizing that their hands are much more malleable than their dick,” he says. “If you care about making sex a good experience for everyone, for the love of god, work your hands out. Or use a sex toy. Your dick isn’t as high class. It just doesn’t have the RPMs.”
I tell him he sounds like a personal trainer, and, much to my surprise, he is. M spent 10 years as a corporate gym fitness coach, sculpting the doughy bodies of frappuccino-charged housewives into granite goddesses. During that time, he learned a lot about the body, becoming immersed in the “yin and yang of prime mover muscles and their antagonists, hip slings and fascia,” a fancy way of saying that he got really into stability and alignment.
A horrific gym accident featuring a medicine ball to the ribs forced him to learn even more. After three years of physical therapy rehabbing a diaphragm that had become so weak he could barely speak, he developed an intimate understanding of posture, musculature and the way bodies overcompensate when something’s off. Later, when he stopped being able to afford physical therapy, he used what he knew to develop his own advanced solutions to his injury, experimenting obsessively with tricks and hacks that relieved his muscle tension and misalignments. One of those was vibration. Early on in his recovery, he discovered that, as demonstrated, nothing released his painfully clenched neck muscles quite like a Hitachi Magic Wand.
By the time he healed himself and left personal training in 2015, he’d become somewhat of a postural Rain Man. He could take one look at a person’s body and tell them which joints and muscles were out of alignment, and he’d fix it with nothing more complicated than some thoughtful stretching, deep-tissue massage and a few targeted exercises aimed at stabilizing the spine and improving posture. It was, for all intents and purposes, perfectly wholesome, run-of-the-mill personal trainer stuff — nothing special, nothing “genius.”
Everything changed last fall when he realized he could use those same techniques to get women off. He’d gone on a date with a woman from Tinder, and he’d noticed that as a “spindly” person, her back wasn’t terribly strong. Knowing that her spine would be better stabilized if he laid her down on a hard surface and positioned her hips with her pelvis curled slightly, he placed her on the ground, slid a pillow under her pelvis, and, over the course of three hours, used his hands to help her come 46 times.
Afterwards, she fixed herself, looked him in the eye and told him what he’d done to her “wasn’t normal.” This was news to him — he thought most guys had figured out that they could use their hands a little hip positioning to get the job done — but it wasn’t to her. While she’d had plenty of orgasms in her life, they were never particularly strong and she — like most people with uteri — was hyper-aware that having even one orgasm with a heterosexual partner was a feat, let alone 46. “You have a gift,” she told him, explaining that she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to help him share it.
Soon after, they started having threesomes together. She’d advertise him as the “squirting dude” on Facebook, and they’d prioritize respondents who said they’d had a hard time getting off. It was during their second threeway with one such candidate that he realized the “not normal” thing he’d been doing was applying his “trainer brain” to pleasure.
“We were playing with this one woman who thought she could only come in one position,” he remembers. “She had a left leg that didn’t bend, so I knew there would be problems related to the stabilizing muscles of the deep longitudinal hip sling.” If he used a wedge to stabilize her neck and a strong vibrator to relax her “external rotation muscles,” he realized, her spine and muscles would be aligned and mobile enough to increase circulation and nerve conduction to her pelvic floor. Much to his surprise, it worked. The woman came — and squirted — approximately 25 times.
Replaying the scene later in his mind that night, he had a realization: The muscles of the pelvic floor — which controls orgasm — don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re part of a much larger network of nerves, joints, fascia, tendons and ligaments that span throughout the body, and if those structures are out of alignment, the pelvic floor — and thus, a person’s ability to orgasm — will be, too. In other words, it wasn’t just a person’s clit, G-spot or any of the areas typically associated with sex that held the key to orgasm — it was the rest of their body that really opened the door.
“Here’s the thing about orgasms,” he tells me as I stab the whirring toothbrush into my coracobrachialis, a tiny strap of muscle below my deltoid that I would have never, in a million years, implicated in orgasm. “Everyone says they’re ‘not a push-button thing.’ They’re all ‘mental.’ Well, what if there is a button, or a series of buttons, that we can push? What if we’ve just been pressing the wrong ones all along? What if the knees are a button? Or even the shoulders?”
Talking to Sarah and Lilly, it appears that for them, that might actually be the case.
To be clear, orgasm is almost never talked about in this way. In fact, none of the sex educators or therapists I reach out to had ever heard of it framed as a musculoskeletal concept; not somatic psychologist and sextech expert Holly Richmond, not sex therapist Jamila Dawson, not even Sarah — who also works as a sex and BDSM educator and has spent years trying to solve her orgasmic difficulties with everything from therapy to meditation — has encountered the orgasm-as-alignment theory in the wild.
“Nobody knows about this,” she says. “I tried to find other people who are trying to help women orgasm this way, but I found nothing.”
Richmond guesses that’s because people have only recently started to study women’s orgasms in the past few years, but it’s also because, for the vast majority of history, we’ve assumed that they only take place on the nerve superhighway between the genitals and the brain. When they malfunction, we blame the mind and outside forces in a person’s environment, citing things like stress, depression, self-image, relationship quality and poor communication as barriers to getting off. We tell people to just “relax” and to “explore themselves,” and that should they need additional help, there are plenty of psychological, pharmaceutical or spiritual solutions for them to tinker with. Some of them might help, sure, but few of them directly address the health of actual physical structures that make you come.
What we forget, then, is that for some people with weak or infrequent orgasms, these solutions can also be distractions. Take therapy, for example. Therapy is nice, but it’s usually costly, long-term and almost guaranteed to be hands-off when it comes to coming. Meditation has been shown to help, but you need patience and self-discipline to see results. Talking to your partner and “spicing things up” is great if you have a receptive one, you’re not sidelined by shame and you know how to ask for what you want, but not everyone falls into that category. Medication works all right if you have a penis, but if you’ve got a clit, Addyi, the so-called “female Viagra,” has little effect other than lining the pockets of the pharmaceutical giants who make it. Orgasmic Meditation? Ugh — don’t even get the O-Man started on that.
If any of these things work for a person and they’re able to come harder and more frequently because they talked it out with a therapist, have a relationship breakthrough or are able to sit quietly for 30 minutes with a clear mind, then great — M is overjoyed. “I absolutely believe orgasm is related to psychology, relationships and culture,” he says. “It would be ridiculous to say that it’s just a purely physical issue of pelvic or spine alignment or that people shouldn’t try to address it with a multifaceted approach.” It’s just, he says, that he can see all the ways that it is physical, too. He’s also seen how “harmful it can be for some women to be told it’s all in their minds.”
Sarah confirms this, explaining that she gave the mental stuff the old college try and found it to be helpful for her mood and sense of relaxation, but it was borderline useless when it came to helping her come. “Ever been told to ‘just relax’?” she asks. “It’s, uh, not very relaxing.”
That might explain why so many of M’s clients come to see him after exhausting more above-ground, easily Googleable resources like therapy and mediation. “When you treat women with orgasmic issues like there’s something wrong happening in her brain, it sends a difficult message,” he continues. “You’re telling somebody that they’re thinking wrong. Well, what does that do? Then they’re thinking about how they’re thinking. And suddenly, they’re in their head. There’s a time and a place for that and I’m not knocking it, but there’s also a time and place for when you just need to come. Why do you think people like vibrators so much?”
As such, he considers it his job as a purveyor of orgasms to help people shut off their brain and make them “come until they can’t breathe normally.”
When they do — and when they work on their alignment, posture and muscle strength over time — that’s where the real benefits kick in. Stronger, more frequent orgasms release a cascade of hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, many of which have been shown to improve mood, promote restful sleep and assist in recovery and pain management (which might explain why one of M’s Facebook clients said she woke up the next day able to move her hips and legs without any of the pain she normally experienced). In that context, then, Sarah’s blood test results aren’t all that surprising.
Others have reached similar conclusions and developed practices around them, of course (though arguably with a lot less optional BDSM and Olympic-level fingering, which M offers during his in-person services to those who want it). The closest analog to what the O-Man does is pelvic floor physical therapy, a type of deep-tissue massage and muscular manipulation that focuses on the joint and muscles of the pelvis. Like his method, it can treat things like painful intercourse and lack of orgasm, which is why people like Heather Jeffcoat, a pelvic floor physical therapist in L.A., says the general ideas of M’s practice makes perfect sense.
“Alignment is important, head to toe,” she says, explaining that, just like M says, the pelvic floor functions optimally when it’s in a balanced, neutral position. If anything’s off in the neck, hips or knees, the adaptations the lower back has to make in order to compensate can throw the pelvis out of alignment. When this happens, the muscles that stabilize the pelvis become overly tight — often asymmetrically — which can block or weaken pleasure by restricting blood flow and preventing the optimal contractions in muscles like the glutes and adductors that are needed for strong, enjoyable orgasms. In short, she says, when you’re out of alignment, you alter the muscle function and blood flow you need to come.
Bad posture doesn’t help, either. As Jeffcoat explains, slumping or hunching can limit your ability to take a full breath, which, in turn, limits how far your diaphragm can expand. “The diaphragm and pelvic floor work in synergy with one another, and can become dysfunctional together, too,” she says. “A dysfunctional pelvic floor can lead to orgasm issues, but other pelvic floor dysfunctions such as incontinence and painful sex as well.”
“Orgasmic dysfunction should never be looked at through the lens of just the pelvic floor,” she continues. “It’s a total body problem.”
Which brings me back to M. Recently, he’s started taking on male clients via webcam — and has always worked with trans and nonbinary people — but his main focus is still women. “Women have worse joint health,” he explains. “The way we treat their bodies is sort of like institutionalized insanity. We jam them into tiny shoes that ruin their feet and posture, constrain their diaphragms with bras, give them heavy bags and purses and coif them with haircuts that, while inarguably cute, force them to hold their necks in ways that throw them out of alignment.” At the same time, he says, everyone is affected by poor posture and muscular positioning. And so, he hopes to lend a (very strong) hand.
Someday, he tells me, he’ll take off the O-Man mask and come out to the world about what he does. There’s even an iteration of reality in which he trains other people to dole out orgasms in the specific way he does, and another where he designs and releases sex toys designed to stretch and stabilize certain muscle groups (hence the chains on his wall — it’s a prototype of an “adductor release” device, he says).
But until then, he’ll stay under wraps. A well-kept secret in the Valley on the precipice of getting out.
Isabelle Kohn
Isabelle Kohn is a sex and relationships journalist, educator and consultant who, for some reason, keeps writing about livestock instead. She writes features and long-form pieces for MEL, usually without the help of Clippy.
