“Strokemon” (Wooden Rocket)

Who Actually Watches Parody Porn?

After researching this story, my internet history will never be the same

The 34th Rule of the Internet states that if something exists, there is porn of it. Turned on by the thought of Mr. Peanut receiving a mouth party? Look no further (NSFW, obviously). Fired up by the image of Thomas the Tank Engine being rammed by a fellow locomotive? Feast your eyes (maybe NSFW?). Need a little more Shrek dick in your life? Your wish is my command (NSFW, big time).

In the 15 years since a British teenager first coined the term “Rule 34,” X-rated spoofs of mainstream movies and TV shows have become more and more popular: “Cartoon” was the top overall search term on PornHub in 2012, and millennials were 214 percent more likely to search for “cosplay” in 2017 than previous generations. And “Rick and Morty” was the second highest trending search on Pornhub in 2017 (behind “Porn for Women”), following the release of — of course — Dick and Morty.

Another popular — and admittedly unfortunate — example of these spoofs is Strokémon, a Pokémon porn parody. The film follows Gash (Ash), Fisty (Misty), Dikachu (Pikachu) and Cock (Brock) as they search for the horniest Strokémon that roams the land (my bets are on “Squirt Hole” (Squirtle), personally).

All of which raises the question: Who the fuck actually watches this stuff? A lot of us share the SFW trailers with our friends, sure, but who watches the whole movie?

“Millions of people all over the world,” insists Axel Braun, an adult film producer and director best known for his porn parodies, including Justice League XXX: A Porn Parody, The Dark Knight XXX: A Porn Parody and Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody. “Some of them actually still pay for it.”

Braun’s films are popular, indeed. Star Wars XXX has reportedly sold more than 1.2 million DVDs to date, making it the all-time highest-selling adult movie in history. Meanwhile, a free five-minute clip of Darth Vader getting head from Princess Leia (about as NSFW as it gets) has garnered more than 5.3 million views on PornHub.

The non-pornographic SFW trailers are equally favored by the masses. The Star Wars XXX trailer has more than 5.2 million views on YouTube, while the Batman vs. Superman XXX trailer has more than 2.5 million views.

Braun admits that his target demographic differs from run-of-the-mill pornography, though. “The job of a porn director is to appeal to consumers looking for a masturbatory aid,” he explains. “I target a completely different demographic: Fans of the originals. That’s why I always include a non-sex version (yes, that’s right, porn without sex) of my parodies in the special features disc.”

Considering these porn parodies have movie-length runtimes — The Dark Knight XXX: A Porn Parody is a whopping 92 minutes long — Braun may very well be targeting the right demographic. Would the average masturbater spend an hour and a half wading through lengthy dialogue (and an actual storyline) to watch the Joker bang Batgirl? Probably not. But a hardcore fan of the comics (and hardcore) just might.

Since Braun’s aim is to target these fans of the originals, he strictly spoofs his favorite movies and TV shows. “I only parody source material that I have a deep emotional connection to, and I’m always extremely respectful toward it,” he says. “That’s why my movies resonate so well with the fans — they can tell that I’m one of them.”

Braun’s attention to detail is admittedly impressive. “I made the actor who played the Joker in Batman XXX: A Porn Parody grow a mustache so we could cover it with white makeup, since Cesar Romero famously refused to shave his for the 1960s TV show,” he says.

The viewers seem to notice his enthusiasm, too. “I saw this movie,” YouTube commenter Heather Payne writes, referring to Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody. “It was actually pretty good for a parody. You could tell they really loved the original. Han very definitively shoots first. ” Commenter mrraamsridhar — a self-proclaimed Batman fan — is equally pleased with the SFW trailer for The Dark Knight XXX: A Porn Parody: “Forget the porn aspect,” they write. “This qualifies as a good Batman trailer, and yeah, hear me say it again: The batsuit is just WOW!!! (a Batman fan) [sic]. ”

Still, Braun isn’t confident that the honest dialogue and accurate storylines are the entire reason people watch his movies. “I like to think that people watch my parodies because they’re curious, intrigued and mildly amused,” he says. “But sadly, it’s probably just for the boobs.”

So, definitely not the same reason they read the comics, then.