Every day, thousands of people take to Google in hopes of finding an excuse to get their dick sucked. If only it were National Suck Dick Day, they seem to be thinking, maybe someone would want to honor the holiday with them. The same goes for dozens of other sex-related days — National Orgasm Day (August 2nd), International Fisting Day (October 21st) and Outdoor Intercourse Day (May 8th) among them. But unlike these annual celebrations, National Suck Dick Day suffers from one fatal flaw: Nobody knows what day it actually is.
The general consensus seems to be that National Suck Dick Day lands on June 24th, a perfect contribution to Pride Month and ideal method of ringing in the summer season. However, some say it’s October 18th, April 12th or really almost literally any day of the year, per various Urban Dictionary responses. The website WhatNationalDayIsIt does assert that the holiday occurs on June 24th, though. Notably, it also says June 24th is National Eat Pussy Day and Hiring Day. Coincidence? I think not.
Even so, there’s no information on how June 24th or any other day for that matter became National Suck Dick Day. WhatNationalDayIsIt claims it first came into use on June 23, 2015, but doesn’t cite where or how. The first Urban Dictionary submission for the day was only posted in 2017. Despite how little is known about the day or its origins, some people do seem to celebrate it, though. On Twitter, the majority of posts referencing “National Suck Dick Day” have been posted on various June 24ths, often among those lamenting their failure to properly honor it.
Most other sex holidays of this kind actually have some sort of history or purpose behind them. National Orgasm Day, for example, is an internationally recognized holiday celebrating sexual health and orgasm-equality. International Fisting Day has its own website and was created by adult stars Jiz Lee and Courtney Trouble. Outdoor Intercourse Day was created by Washington State University students in 2015 after the school attempted to ban laying out blankets on the ground for “picnics.” Point is, they all have a background and narrative that asserts them as “official” days. That said, there isn’t anything that makes these days real in the eyes of culture or the law. Some actual national official days, like those honoring specific people, have to be placed into law by the president or Congress. Most others, like today’s National Rotisserie Chicken Day, are just made up by advertising companies or people who want to create a day. All those sites like WhatNationalDayIsIt and NationalDayCalendar take submissions from any company, nonprofit or corporation that wants to set a holiday.
Beyond that, all it takes to establish an official day is to start getting people to recognize it. Which ultimately points to one crucial issue with National Suck Dick Day: If we’re not sure about when the day is, it’s because we aren’t promoting it hard enough. Any day — every day, even — could be National Suck Dick Day if we just committed ourselves to getting people to celebrate.
Consider this ample warning, then: In just a few weeks, June 24th will be upon us. What are you going to do to honor it?
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
