This Week in Dudes

As the Olympics draw to a sad end, we find out that our favorite athlete — the one with the very fast swimming and very slow brain — has lied to the world about a mugging that apparently did not take place. But enough of that! Let’s leave the 2016 Summer Olympics with a good taste in our mouths and appreciate honorary gold medal winner, American hero and Olympics fan: Matthew McConaughey.

Were you expecting that? Maybe not. But the actor has made his rounds these past week, loving every moment of the Olympics — forcing himself on every athlete for pictures. Yes, he’s a fan! Just like us!

And when he wasn’t busy tracking down his favorite stars, he was in the stands — cheering them on.

Other famous Olympics lovers? Well, Zac Efron, when he heard his name uttered by hero Simon Biles, got on a plane and went to her. As he should have.

Not all American heroes were at the Olympics this week — here’s footage from a bellyflop competition in Norway:

But moving on from American heroes to the everyman… Guys, don’t pee in the pool: “…Urine in a pool reacts with chemicals that are used to sanitize the water. The reaction creates toxic gases, one of which, in much greater concentrations, is classified as a chemical weapon.” You’re literally creating a chemical weapon by pissing in the pool. Will it stop you? Probably not.

But peeing in the pool is the least of our problems — especially if you’re a dude. Sorry about that, says science:

The study also found that, on average, women of all ethnicities aged more slowly than men. “There’s no doubt that men are worse off than women. That is in every ethnic and racial group. We looked at several tissue groups and blood and their saliva. Being a man is really bad news.”

But we must be better off than our parents were, right? Well, not quite, says more science:

Researchers measured the grip strength (how strongly you can squeeze something) and pinch strength (how strongly you can pinch something between two fingers) of 237 healthy full-time students aged 20 to 34 at universities in North Carolina. And especially among males, the reduction in strength compared to 30 years ago was striking. The average 20-to-34-year-old today, for instance, was able to apply 98 pounds of force when gripping something with his right hand. In 1985, the average man could squeeze with 117 pounds of force.

Ooh boy. At least we have Instagram! And wealthy in-laws!

And pot brownies: