Here’s the thing about mushroom cocks — like the one purportedly belonging to the president, at least per Stormy Daniels and her incredible Toad pwn yesterday: Some people (though not Daniels, obviously) think they’re really hot.
So hot, in fact, mushroom-topped and mushroom-shaped sex toys are a staple in any adult product line — from dildos to butt plugs to cock rings. That’s right. Fungi dick lovers enjoy the shape so much that they pay for plastic or silicone molds of it. For instance, Doc Johnson’s 10.5-inch Giant Cock, “a hulk size dong with a fat mushroom head and smooth shaft” that, according to the Doc Johnson website, is “a size queen’s wet dream.” Meanwhile, another Doc Johnson product, The Mystical Mushroom C-Ring, speaks more to the psilocybin crowd: “You will fall in love with the Magic Mushroom cock ring for its regal look, storybook design and curvy cap at the tip that was made for pleasure. Take the fantasy with you.” (All that fantasy and love comes — yes, pun intended — courtesy of the cock ring’s mushroom cap tip, which presses up against your partner’s clitoris while you fuck.)
Given everything above — and, of course, Daniels’ recent comments about the presidential member — I consulted the good folks at Doc Johnson, aka the “First Family of Dildos” and the largest sex-toy manufacturer in the country. In particular, I spent a few minutes on the phone with their longtime chief product designer Anjani Siddhartha about the ubiquity and appeal of mushroom-shaped sex toys. Here’s what she told me:
“A big part of my job is research. I spend a lot of time reading things online, interviewing people and going to trade shows and conventions. I also do a lot of research on shapes, especially penis shape. The mushroom shape is very common in real life. A lot of men relate to that shape. That’s why it’s not surprising to see so many models of them in sex toys.
“People particularly love this type of penis shape when performing oral sex. They like the way their lips fit around the mushroom head or the way their tongue feels moving around it. Most people don’t prefer it for penetration — at least in my unscientific research — because it’s so wide. So even though mushroom-shaped toys are very common, I’m more frequently asked to design models with leaner heads. Most people newly experimenting with toys for penetration want something more pointy, because it’s easier to get inside compared to the wider mushroom shape.
“That said, the people who want larger mushroom-shaped products are into them because once they’re inside of you, their shape provides a little more sensation. Generally speaking, in the last few years, we’ve seen the market shift and demand larger and larger products. For example, we used to make double-penetration products, but now I’m making triple-penetration products. Some of our products are as thick as beer cans now.”
Don’t be surprised then if the next mushroom-shaped sex toy is modeled after the armillaria ostoyae, or as it’s more commonly known — the Humongous Fungus.