From Meredith Blake in 1998’s Parent Trap to Debbie Jellinsky trying to pussy whip Uncle Fester in Addams Family Values, the gold digger has been a popular villain trope forever. Kanye West even wrote a song about gold diggers weaseling their way into the lives of rich and famous men, raw-dogging them in order to get a lucrative 18-year paycheck.
Kanye eventually married Kim Kardashian, who people called a gold digger even though she’s earned way more money than him!
The message was clear: Women aren’t allowed to be attracted to money and power, even though I’m guessing one of the main reasons men seek money and power is to get women — just my unscientific opinion. Unfortunately, though, this is the world we live in: Boys will be boys, but women who try to work the system are heartless shrews out to take a man’s hard-earned cash.
To that point, a survey by the dating site AYI found that “men who say they earn more than $150,000 have the greatest chance of hearing from a woman.” You need to look no further than most dating app profiles to see that a lot of men are A-OK with using their wealth and lifestyle to lure women in, even when they have neither. Bros on dating apps post pics in cars they can’t afford and living it up on a friend’s yacht holding a bottle of Cristal — the Fyre Festival in human form. Dating apps are tailor-made for presenting the illusion of success, and people take full advantage of that fact — e.g., an OKCupid report found that 20 percent of its users say they make more money than they do.
But what about the guys who actually have money and status?
Interestingly enough, a lot of them do the opposite. They downplay their wealth — in ways that range from omission to out-and-out lying — in order to find out if a woman truly likes them for who they are. There are numerous Reddit threads devoted to rich dicks giving other rich dicks advice on how to weed out gold diggers. The primary tip is to avoid doing anything that signals you have a fat wallet — letting her pick the restaurant so you don’t select something too fancy, driving a non-flashy car and suggesting activities that don’t cost much, such as going on a walk or feeding ducks. (Yes, that was a real suggestion.)
“Don’t wear a watch when you go on a date, just use your smartphone for the time. Take an Uber. Maybe get yourself a suit that looks good but is cheaper,” writes one redditor. Another has friend who just straight-up lies: “My buddy makes six figures in his early 20s in the entertainment industry in L.A. He has insane connections and women hanging all over him when they find out what he does. Whenever we go out together, he tells people he works at Starbucks.”
Wealthy single men, how do you date knowing there’s a possibility the girl you’re seeing may only be after you for your money and nothing else? from AskMen
Another popular suggestion is to split the check during the early stages of dating to ensure she isn’t just using you as a cash cow. Moreover, some guys recommend going for women who make just as much as they do: “I don’t ever bring up money with the people I’m dating, and if they ask it’s very telling about their intentions. I also try to pick a woman with a solid career that makes good money as well.”
But how do you find this info out? And if you ask her, isn’t that telling of your intentions? Hey, don’t blame me, I’m just asking questions here!
The saddest thing of all, though, is seeing guys who don’t even have money yet fretting about the women who will one day try to use them. Case in point, this gentleman: “Me and my buds always worried about this problem when we were single and assuming we would get rich. What we decided on doing was buying a ‘date’ vehicle and using that to pick up the girl and basically do what we could to look stable but not rich. Unfortunately none of us ever got to try this. Lol.”
Lol, indeed. Lol, indeed.
Desi Jedeikin
Desi Jedeikin is a writer living in Los Angeles. She co-hosts the podcast Hollywood Crime Scene and has lots of things in development that will probably never happen. She wastes a lot of time on Twitter @desijed.
