Are you mad that the peach emoji no longer looks like a butt? Don’t be. Language is such that the “peach” can look like an actual peach, but we’re still gonna use it to represent “a butt” until the end of time (or until the end of emoji). Meanwhile, we have a whole slew of newmoji to contend with. Are the emoji makers getting a little too specific with their references — making it so they are only relevant for a 1–2 year span? Take a look at that selfie arm and get back to me.
So let’s dig into the new set of emoji — from obscure to actually useful — and take a guess at how they’ll actually be used.
“Call Me Hand”
Because the phone (or the beeper?) emoji isn’t enough, the Emoji Gods have blessed us with a hand outstretched into the universal sign for “It’s 1985; call me on my landline.”
How they think you’ll use it
See above. We’re gonna need a few time machines.
How will it will actually be used
“Hell ya, [emoji], this weed is tiiiiiight.”
“Face Palm”
You could say the face palm is more of a mindset than something people actually do in real life.
How they think you’ll use it
“You accidentally threw out the leftovers I was saving for dinner? [emoji]”
How will it will actually be used
“*link to article about Donald Trump* [emoji emoji]”
“Rolling on the Floor Laughing”
…Or “ROFL”, as the kids call it, is the same face you make while laugh-crying but slightly tilted — as if you have laughed-cried so much that you fell down.
How they think you’ll use it
*A joke is made* [emoji emoji emoji emoji]
How will it will actually be used
*A joke is made a someone’s expense* [emoji emoji emoji emoji]
“Owl”
Big eyes, full hoot, finally an owl emoji comes to our smartphones.
How they think you’ll use it
Did you see the amazing [emoji] at the bird sanctuary last week?
How will it will actually be used
“I don’t know her [emoji].”
“Baguette Bread”
Never say Apple doesn’t care about cultural diversity. Look! It’s bread for French people!
How they think you’ll use it
“Pick up a [emoji] on your way home, won’t you?”
How will it will actually be used
“You up? Wanna [emoji]?”
“Nauseated Face”
Forget the “drooling face,” go for full-out nauseated — pre-barf and a good one used beyond the spectrum of declaring sickness.
How they think you’ll use it
“Ugh, I think I ate too much pizza tonight [emoji]”
How will it will actually be used
“*pimple popping GIF autoplays in an iMessage* [emoji emoji emoji]”
“Black Heart”
“A heart shaded completely black. May be used to express morbidity, sorrow, or a form of dark humor.” — Emojipedia
How they think you’ll use it
“Can we get McDonald’s tonight or something, I’m pretty [emoji].”
How will it will actually be used
“WELCOME TO THE GOTH ZONE; GOTHS ONLY [EMOJI EMOJI EMOJI]”
“Hand With Index and Middle Fingers Crossed”
Finally! An emoji that crosses its heart and hopes to die. (That isn’t the black heart emoji.)
How they think you’ll use it
“You have therapy on Monday! Don’t forget![emoji]”
How will it will actually be used
“Did you see the finally remembered to add the [emoji]?”
“Tumbler Glass”
A very realistic depiction of happy hour.
How they think you’ll use it
“Anyone up for a [emoji] after work?”
How will it will actually be used
“It’s been a long week; I’m gonna need to get wassssssted [emoji].”
“Female & Male Technologist”
Two people on Apple-branded laptop computers, naturally.
How they think you’ll use it
“You remember my friend? The one who does [emoji]?”
How will it will actually be used
“God, there are wayyyy too many [emoji] at this coffee shop.”
“Face With Cowboy Hat”
That hat looks awfully small, if you ask me.
How they think you’ll use it
“Garth Brooks concert, anyone? [emoji]”
How will it will actually be used
“Have you watched [emoji] yet? I think they’re all robots.”
