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Real-Life Boofers Explain Why Boofin’ Brett Kavanaugh Is Full of Shit

Well, not technically full of shit, considering what happens when you boof

Welcome to a magical mystery ride down the tube and into the anus: a special three-part report on boofing. Parts I and III can be found here and here.

If you take him at his word, Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh was a very good prep-school boy who never sexually assaulted anyone and never, ever drank to excess — despite multiple sources saying otherwise. But it’s hard to take him seriously when he’s likely stretching the truth about boofing.

“Boofing”? That’s a term straight from Big Brett’s high school yearbook. When questioned about it in his recent Senate hearing, Kavanaugh said boofing was simply a fart joke. But there’s reason to be skeptical: Boofing is much better known as a method for consuming alcohol or drugs through the anus. (And in the 1980s, it was slang for anal sex.)

And so, we wanted to go straight to the source — actual boofers — to find out what boofing means to them, and what they think of Kavanaugh trying to sugarcoat their buttholes.

Ashley from North Carolina

I had my first butt-chugging experience at a barn party, which is common in Amish country, Pennsylvania. We were all pretty drunk, and it was when twerking was popular, so we were twerking on the walls, and doing beer funnels while twerking when someone had the great idea of boofing the booze. (I know it sounds weird but honestly MUCH wilder things happen at Amish parties.) Once realizing that a funnel being used multiple times would be unsanitary, we elected to have someone simply pour vodka into each other’s butthole while we were upside down.

Taking a shot of vodka up your asshole is about as fun as it sounds. It burns for a few minutes, but after that wears off, it’s not awful. It’s extremely effective, and you can’t smell alcohol on your breath, which is nice if you’re going home to your parents. I will say that I’ve never once soberly said, “Let’s take a butt shot!” It’s more of a thing you do when you’re already drunk and want to have a story or bonding experience. I will say it is much messier than you anticipate, as alcohol is liquid, and you will get drippage no matter how hard you clench, which isn’t cute.

[Out] of my friends, probably one out of five has done it, but that’s higher than the average population. What can I say? I hung out with a hard-partying crowd.

I had no idea what “boofing” meant until someone explained it, and even now I think it’s a stupid-ass term. (Get it? It’s a pun.) Grow up and call it butt-chugging.

Taylor from Virginia

To boof I use an oral syringe — basically a rounded-tip syringe like you’d use to give milk to a baby bird or something. I’ve only boofed a solution of the drug 2C-B [a psychedelic], which is a powder, into distilled water. I use a ratio of 20 milligrams per milliliter of water, so with 200 milligrams and 10 milliliter of water, I have my boof juice ready to go. Fifteen to 18 milligrams or so is a good boof dosage for 2C-B, so I use a little under 1 milliliter of water.

With the syringe, you don’t need friends to help administer it — you just draw up the desired amount of solution into the syringe, put a bit of lube on the syringe tip, lie stomach-down on [a] bed, insert the syringe 2 to 3 inches deep, squirt it in and then stay lying on [your] stomach for a couple minutes to make sure it doesn’t leak out.

The actual syringe doesn’t hurt. I mean, a 1-milliliter syringe is tiny, a much smaller diameter than my turds. There is some discomfort from the drug itself for maybe 10 minutes. However, it’s worth it. I’d never snort the stuff. I prefer boofing because the onset of effects and the come-up time is much quicker. It also has higher bioavailability, so it’s more cost-effective.

I’m pretty sure I’m the only one of my friends who has boofed, and it’s my own little dirty secret. However, the majority of people in my social circle know what it is, since it’s fairly common drug slang these days. That said, I think “boof” as drug slang is newer, and was originally (and still is) called “plugging.”

My understanding is that during Kavanaugh’s high school days, boof was slang for anal sex: “BUtt FUck” shortens to “bufu” shortens to “boof.” So I still think he’s a dirty liar, but not that he’s lying about boofing drugs.

Ben T. from Kentucky

For my boofing experience, I boofed a Tesla [ecstasy pill] at a music festival during a headliner. I’d planned on doing this the entire day, so I prepared myself beforehand, using the bathroom, not eating excessively, drinking extra water, etc.

When the time came, I broke the pill in half, opened a condom and covered my finger, then positioned the half at the entrance to my butt hole and slowly shoved it in. It didn’t particularly hurt. As I told a friend who asked me right after doing it, “Well I’m gay, so it’s a lot easier than putting a dick up there.” It was definitely a worthwhile experience in my opinion. The drugs hit faster and harder than normal, but didn’t last quite as long. The come-up was extremely strong, though, almost overwhelmingly so.

Wesley from Northern California

The process of boofing is rather easy, although I’ve seen it done a few ways. I’ve personally experienced two. First was the turkey baster, filled with about a shot of Rich & Rare whiskey. A few months later I tried wine, using a funnel. I’ve also had beer and vodka via the baster.

It will get you blacked-out drunk in a matter of minutes, depending on how much and what kind. The wine was the best option, in my opinion. Whiskey and vodka will burn like the devil’s dick is going up there. Beer was tingly, cold and slightly uncomfortable. However, a friend of mine did a little move we called the volcano: He spewed shit-beer all over.

My friends are all crust punks, scum fucks and crazy people, and we all knew what boofing was, although we didn’t know at the time it was called that. We found out about the term about a year after we had tried it the first time, and I even got a commemorative tattoo:

It seems like nowadays the term is rather popular, although it doesn’t specifically refer to alcohol. You can boof anything that’ll get you fucked up.

As for Brett, he’s probably a yuppie who’s just misinformed.

Charles from California

Boofing isn’t really my preferred method because it’s hard for me to get my quick fix on the go — it takes a while to get comfortable before sticking stuff in my booty. Apparently playing Sade and sticking meth in your ass in public is frowned upon these days.

Anyways, my first time, I quite literally was sitting in front of a mirror with my legs up and stuck my methamphetamine–Fun Dipped finger up my asshole sans lube and swirled it around. It was weird, I couldn’t look myself in the eyes for a few hours, and I ended up having my butthole swell up afterwards for the next few days.

The next time I did it was with some molly and [I] properly plugged it. Don’t remember much as I was deep in the throes of several substances, but my anus didn’t swell and apparently I had a great time.

I’d say a few friends have boofed, and a couple regularly, mostly in my amphetamine circle. That being said, I have yet to be at a trap house with all the boys plugging together, but who knows where my vices shall take me next.

Anal eyes, analyze, anal lies, Mr. Kavanaugh.