Please brace yourself for an ill-conceived proposal I will never understand, courtesy of Reddit and a bro who risked it all for no good reason:
Andrew… the fuck is this? Not even people who clap when the plane lands think of commercial jets at romantic. The unspoken etiquette of flying dictates that passengers are not to do anything besides eat bland food, get quietly drunk, watch movies that got 43 percent on Rotten Tomatoes or read BDSM erotica on their Kindle, and get up NO MORE THAN ONCE to use the bathroom. That’s it. This isn’t the place for grand displays of love unless it’s giving Rachel your neck pillow because she forgot hers.
Also, smart way to cheap out on the engagement photographer, dude. All you had to do was trap your future fiancée in a claustrophobic space she couldn’t escape and ask her to make a huge life decision on the spot in front of a couple hundred strangers — all of whom now have your phone number — then hope like hell she says yes so that the 12-hour haul to Hawaii or wherever isn’t awkward. (Lots of women, by the way, see the high-pressure public proposal as attention-seeking, embarrassing or coercive—that’s a whole other story.)
So… what happened?
Ah, well, that’s fine, then. I guess. Congratulations on having this moment right next to a toilet-closet. Maybe you met on a plane, and this brought it full circle or something. (Though, to be clear, flirting with the person next to you on a flight is also unforgivable.)
Still, there’s at least one consequence you didn’t consider here: that at least one passenger you conscripted into documenting the proposal would post this stuff online, distributing it to other people who are also in the midst of a toilet-based experience.
Anyway, congratulations, and maybe I’m bitter, but this is going to annoy me for as long as I remember it. Unless it was all a ploy to join the Mile-High Club, in which case I’m disgusted, too. And a little impressed. I’ll let the proposal slide this time — just don’t give any other guys ideas.
Miles Klee
Miles Klee is MEL’s resident tank-top dirtbag, shitposter and meme expert. He’s also the author of the novel ‘Ivyland’ and a story collection, ‘True False.’
