MILFs are worth celebrating every day of the week. But if we must confine it to one, it obviously ought to be Monday (“MILF Thursday” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it). Plenty of businesses have attempted to institute some sort of celebration of this holy day, from swingers clubs to radio stations, but most recently, TikToker and Dunkin’ employee @itsnoah.d attempted to kick off MILF Monday at the chain for himself.
In a video that appears to have actually been posted on a Friday, Noah filmed himself working the drive-thru at Dunkin’, handing off a coffee and a dollar bill to a female customer. When she asks what the dollar is for, he replies: “For the holiday. Did you check the app? You should have got the ‘MILF Monday.’ Here at Dunkin’, we’re just trying to give back to the local MILFs and shit on Mondays.”
We have no idea whether or not this woman is a mom or not, though she doesn’t correct him for calling her a MILF. Instead, she says “very funny, cute,” laughs and drives off. The video now has 6.5 million views, but Noah kept going — in his next post, he states that Dunkin’ fired him for the stunt (though he’s posted several more videos from within the Dunkin’ drive-thru, so it’s unclear whether that’s true). He’s done two other MILF Monday videos since then, one where he specifies that every day is MILF Monday and another where he gives a woman a $5 bill. In a different video where he gives a man a free coffee, Noah specifies that he pays for these acts of charity himself.
Noah hasn’t responded to my request for comment, so I don’t know what his real agenda is. Neither he nor Dunkin’ have commented to press on the matter elsewhere, either. Maybe he really did get fired for giving a customer a dollar for MILF Mondays, maybe he didn’t. All I really know is that MILF Mondays should absolutely be a legitimate thing, and Dunkin’ needs to get themselves together and upload a weekly promo for the mommas ASAP.
They don’t even need to call it “MILF Monday.” They can just call it “Mom Monday,” or “Mother Appreciation Mondays,” or something more sterile and less sexy. I’ll know in my heart that it’s really MILF Mondays.
How exactly would they verify that the people using the Monday discount are indeed mothers/MILFs? They wouldn’t. But who cares? Like having big naturals, being a MILF is an energy, and a state of mind. Anyone who objects to getting a MILF Monday discount clearly doesn’t have MILF energy, so really, it’s a self-selecting process.
Of course, the term “MILF” is also wrapped up in a lot of politics, and not everyone is excited about Noah’s little stunt. “As a MILF who’s actually a mother and has been since my early 20s, I feel annoyed with the overuse of the term MILF to mean anyone who looks like she may be over 25, particularly within the context of porn,” says Jessie Sage, a sex worker and writer in Pittsburgh. “Also, a dollar back on a donut does little to help close the enormous earning gap that most moms experience between themselves and their co-parent. And most moms, if they go through a drive-thru for donuts, probably are stressed and frazzled and don’t want to be reminded that they’re supposed to be sexy all the time.”
Fair — calling someone who’s just trying to get their morning coffee a MILF may not be how they’d like to start their day. Some of Noah’s critics have also commented that “MILF Monday” is akin to sexual harassment. But that’s why it should become an in-app promotion, as Noah originally suggested. That way, nobody is subjected to the MILF treatment who doesn’t want to be.
The Dunkin’ app also already offers a Monday promotion where users who order ahead receive 100 bonus points. Per the Dunkin’ point system, 200 points equates to a free beverage. Considering that the cheapest coffee on the menu here in NYC is $2.39 for a plain, black hot coffee, 100 points is the equivalent of $1.19 at minimum. But you can use those 200 points for a far more expensive beverage as well, like a $5.49 large iced signature latte, meaning 100 points could be worth $2.74 on the high end. Regardless, Dunkin’ would be saving money were they to institute a $1 off MILF Monday promotion, instead of their usual “order ahead” deal.
Dunkin’, I’m really just looking out for you. You know I’m ride-or-die. But I’ve got my pulse on the people. And what the people want, in addition to your carafes of milky caffeine, is MILF Mondays. At very least, don’t punish Noah for doing his part to support the MILF community. He’s just doing what the rest of us wish we had the power to do.
Go make momma proud!
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
