Have you ever seen an idea that is so well-intentioned and yet just so, so awful? I have, and here it is:
For those not in the know, Gregg Sulkin is a regular post-teen Who, defined (by me) by his one-time appearance on Pretty Little Liars and his ex-girlfriend, Bella Thorne. But now, thanks to his tone-deaf support of an anti–Trump hat, he’ll be known as That Guy With the Silly Hat, or, Can you not?
Even sadder, “Grab Her By The Brain” is an entire (attempted) movement — started by woman named Elizabeth Ariosto, who also seems to be wholly well-meaning.
But grabbing anyone by anything — be it their pussy or brains — is ill-advised.
Here are a few other things men shouldn’t be grabbing:
- Boomerangs, in the 13th century:
The thinking goes that during his final moments, Kaakutja was first struck on the right side of the face with the fighting boomerang, which probably would have taken out his eye and drawn a lot of blood. Then a second blow probably came to his ribs, breaking several of them and causing him to collapse. Kaakutja, now on all fours, was potentially struck a third time across the top of his arm, which hacked off part of the bone.
- Venetian blinds, illegally albeit ingeniously:
- Jobs, apparently:
Surveys taken between 2010 and this year show that 40 percent of prime working-age men who are not in the labor force report having pain that prevents them from taking jobs for which they are qualified. More than a third of the men not in the labor force said they had difficulty walking or climbing stairs or had another disability. Forty-four percent said they took painkillers daily and two-thirds of that subset were on prescription medicines. By contrast, just 20 percent of employed men and 19 percent of unemployed men (those looking for work) in the same age group reported taking any painkillers.
- Tampons, especially if they don’t understand how menstruation works:
The photography student, who has a girlfriend, believes tampons are a “luxury item” and said if a woman “cannot hold in her period until she gets to a toilet” then it is her problem, not the taxpayers’.
- Instruments — in this case, the ones that belong to Blink-182, because yikes:
- Samsung phones, because they are still exploding:
Korea Joong Ang Daily reports that in South Korea especially, many users have refused to return their Galaxy Note 7s because they like the phone so much. Many more have also said that the return or exchange process is too much of a hassle to deal with.
- Peppers, the really really really really spicy ones:
…A 47-year-old man entered a pepper-eating contest. His challenge was to eat a burger that enjoyed a ghost pepper purée. He ended up in ER with “severe abdominal and chest pain subsequent to violent retching and vomiting,” says the report. And then there was his esophagus. It had endured a tear measuring 2.5 cm (almost an inch).
- Adderall, especially after your days of college all-nighters:
As a millennial, Raphael is part of the first generation of Americans to be routinely prescribed stimulants during childhood and adolescence and who [went] on to abuse those stimulants in high school and college. Now, as Alan Schwarz points out in his new book ADHD Nation: Children, Doctors, Big Pharma, and the Making of an Epidemic, millennials are graduating into the workplace, and many of them are continuing to use prescription stimulants as job-performance enhancers.
- Pogo stick, if you’re going after the record…Just kidding:
You can keep the pogo stick.