“Sexual activity in real life is pointless,” says Zach, a 23-year-old in Georgia. “I turned to lucid dreaming in order to have sex the way I want.” He’s talking about the fantasy of having sex with another guy, but as a girl — something not quite physically possible in real life. Zach’s had that kink “ever since I’ve had a sexuality,” he says, and so he tries to create these scenarios in his dreams. “I think that it’s possible to have the same amount of pleasure from lucid-dream sex as you would get from real-life sex, but it is difficult.”
Zach’s not alone. Last week, while interviewing avid lucid dreamers about their wildest sleep stories, I came across more than a few posts in r/LucidDreaming of guys asking how to properly bang chicks in the dream world:
Or expressing their frustration when the dream sex becomes, uh, something else:
The dream character i was having sex with turned into a burrito. from LucidDreaming
So I asked around, and yeah — lucid-dreaming sex tourism is definitely a thing. Many dudes suggested the tantalizing prospect of getting laid in dreamworld helps guide their mission to unlock mastery over their unconscious brain. One guy, Alan, a 32-year-old in Texas, told me about the dream that sent him down the lucid-dreaming rabbit hole: “I tried to create a scene where I could woo a lady — and obviously people know what would happen next — but I would accidentally change it to a different scene,” he laments. The dream was “amazing and intense.” Now, he has a “recurring DC” — dream character — “a girl with whom I always fall in love.”
Here’s what other guys had to say.
Zach, 23, Georgia
I almost always go into lucid dreaming with the goal of having sex [while] lucid dreaming, and once I’m lucid in my dream, I’d say about 60 percent of the time I will pursue sex.
I did have one experience where I successfully turned myself into a normal girl. After trying multiple different things, I went into a room by myself and prayed to my dream god to turn me into a girl. Surprisingly, it worked very well and I got exactly what I wanted. The pleasure I received from this was so great that I almost instantaneously had an orgasm. The amount of pleasure woke me up. I was flaccid but immediately came from the extreme jolt of pleasure. I’m pretty sure that if there was a world record for world’s fastest orgasm that this would be the record.
Aaron, 20, New York
I’m a pretty lonely and depressed guy. I’ve been having a lot of problems in reality for the past few years. My dreams are a huge escape for me, with my medication making them more vivid. I feel like I am going to another reality nearly every night, and my imagination is pretty crazy.
Sometimes I get so damn lonely I just crave being near someone or just holding hands because I’m just that deprived of physical contact. So in lucid dreams, when I touch another person, it feels real. I feel like I’m with an actual person. I found that focusing on physical sensations in dreams makes them feel incredibly real.
And it does help me with my loneliness. When I wake up I actually feel like I have had company during the night.
But sex in dreams has always been a bad experience for me. I have tried many times, but every time I feel myself getting too excited, and this causes me to wake up from the dream back to my crappy reality. I can never get to the point where I feel any pleasure from the dream, so after so many attempts, I have given up.
I find that in dreams where I crave company, I focus on just simple things like hugging someone. This doesn’t cause me to wake up, and I also feel very comforted by it.
Santi, 20, Ohio
I had dreams about sex before I lost my virginity or even knew what masturbation was. Looking back, I never understood how it worked in dreams. There wasn’t actual sex happening. Like, there weren’t parts going anywhere; it was more being embraced by this dream character and feeling pleasure as our downstairs rubbed together.
Being the growing boy I was, I eventually did discover porn and masturbation, and after that my dreams became more realistic: The parts were there and they did their job. The sex in dreams tends to be stronger, not just the short climax like [in] real sex, but pure pleasure that keeps going.
So when I achieve lucidity in dreams, and know to initiate [sex], I usually just run around my dreamscape until I find a good-looking girl. Then I just grab her hand and walk away. Conversation in dreams is very weird, it never really makes sense to me … I just know everything that’s happening. But usually, whenever things really get going, I wake up because the experience is so overwhelming. One dream I remember, I was in a kitchen and thought to myself, Bring the babes, and in walked a redhead, a blonde and a brunette — all stunning, but all too short-lived. I immediately woke up.
My sex life is better now since I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year, and we’re both happy and going strong. I tend to be sensible and leave fantasies in my head.
Joe, 24, New Jersey
It took quite a while to be able to properly achieve “stability” in my lucid dreams — maybe two months. And maybe two months after that, I had sex in a lucid dream for the first time. I had the sex with Margot Robbie (on purpose), and I orgasmed. It felt great and also surprisingly realistic.
Since then (about a year), I often have sex with numerous people in lucid dreams. What happens is, I make the person appear opening a random door and expecting them to be there, or imagine that they’re right behind me lying on a bed waiting to have sex with me, and usually that works. Then, we just go at it. There’s not really any talk before the sex, and sometimes actually I’ve found that I switched bodies with the person I was fucking, which was a crazy but pretty cool experience.
That said, I have a girlfriend now, and we’ll either have sex like twice a day or four times a week, so I no longer initiate lucid-dream sex. It just got kind of tiring. But I do still have them randomly, about twice a month.
Jordan, 27, Michigan
I just have to gently guide the dream. It’s kind of confusing, but it reminds me of Inception, when the people in the dream get suspicious. It’s like that. If I try too hard I’ll actually wake up.
But any time I do gain control, I try to get laid… which literally always ends up in getting cock-blocked one way or another in my dreams. Of all the sex in lucid dreams I’ve had, I actually can’t remember a time where I’ve ever finished or even had sex for longer than a minute before I just wake up.
I can’t exactly remember what happens before I have sex in dreams. Usually I am just already in bed with her and we’re already 69ing or something.
It’s frustrating, but it’s also hilarious how casually it happens. Like, the one time the girl’s sister walked in, like, “Hey, we have to get groceries,” and she started getting out of bed, like, “Yeah, I gotta go get groceries,” and left. Like, what the fuck.
Last week or so, I had a dream where I got cucked pretty badly. This really hot college chick invited me to her apartment. She was super-sweet to me and into me — a dream scenario, pun intended. We fucked for a minute and then some other dude came over and she fucked him instead and was being rude all of a sudden. I just kinda sat there, like, What the fuck is happening?, and then after they finished she offered for me to eat her pussy. I just left her apartment and I was like, Bruh, wake up! Lmfao.
Rob, 32, Minnesota
Watching porn and getting lost in short fantasies with my girlfriend is awesome, and inspires kinky play when it comes to real sex as well. Kinks often deal with forbidden fruit: the neighbor, the sister, danger, taboo, orgies. This is one area where lucid dreams really can shine.
Still, there are some fantasies that can be harder than others to share, even if you mean no ill will. I was totally happy with my first girlfriend and never told her this, but man did I take her sister to town in my dreams.
I’ve chosen to not limit myself by any means in my dreams. I want to explore and simulate anything I feel like and have it be carefree and guilt-free. Personally, I think engaging in a fantasy of any nature, as long as done in private with no harm to others, is okay.
In a dream, things can feel unbelievably real. The nerves in your lips and body aren’t actually firing, but in your brain similar patterns are, and they are doing this together with some part of your brain telling you this is a real, full sensation. The culmination is a dream experience where you can feel your tongue slipping between their lips and teeth, touching their gums and pulling strings of saliva. You feel the brush of pubic hair when you reach into their underwear, and the heat of their genitals.
One of the things I like is monster girls and tentacle porn. I must have had it in mind when I found myself lucid in a dream, because I instantly decided I wanted to have sex with a tentacle monster or slime girl of some kind. However, I was just in an ordinary room with no monsters in sight. I looked for the darkest place a monster could hide and found a closet. Still no monster. But wait! I started seeing tentacles slip from behind the clothes. Well, it’s just tentacles coming out from the darkness, but hey, I was intrigued. I turned around and backed into the closest.
The tentacles pulled me back and fucked my ass and a second hole which I can only assume was a vagina I now had. It felt pretty good being constricted and touched all over. My vagina felt better than my ass because the it was really stuffing a lot in my asshole. It wasn’t entirely comfortable for this reason, but I can say I liked it and would go back for seconds any day.
Two nights ago I fell asleep next to my girlfriend in a somewhat awkward position. I felt like my eyelids were closed, but I could still see her. This is a big indicator to me that I’m actually dreaming. She sleeps heavier and earlier than I do, and if I get horny late at night, usually I decide not to wake her and just browse porn subreddits instead. However, if I catch her in my dream I can totally have my way.
I leaned over and bit her lips, and licked slow and deep across her tongue. I thought I heard her say something, but I couldn’t tell if the real her was waking up or the dream her. I opened my eyes and saw her looking back at me, but then I opened my eyes again and saw her asleep. I tried talking back asking if she had woken up.
The next day, I asked her if I did or said anything weird in my sleep. She said I didn’t. I was fast asleep the whole time, I suppose. I explained how I made out with her in my dream. She was flattered.
Even for a dreamer experienced with how real things feel, it still surprises me to this day how indistinguishable it sometimes seems.
Josh, 19, France
Currently, I dream about sex two to three times a week. I have a very close relationship with pornography, so this manifests in my dreaming state. Still as far as lucid dreams go, when I experience them, sex is definitely on the list, but it’s not always the No. 1 option.
My favorite lucid sex dream went like this: I was in my kitchen and I performed a “reality check” (my finger went through my palm). I then realized I was dreaming, and I became lucid. After flying and interacting with the environment for a while, I wanted to have sex.
So I magically teleported [into] a room with a hot girl [who] was desperate to make out with me. Of course, we had sex, and I was surprised by how real it was. All my senses were fully active and I could feel everything (yes, everything). In the end, she transformed into a giant lizard and I woke up.
Quinn Myers
Quinn Myers is a staff writer at MEL. He reports on internet culture, technology, health, masculinity and the communities that flourish within.
