In the infamous carol “The 12 Days of Christmas,” the singer brags about all the bossy gifts their “true love” gave them for the holidays. But since since six geese-a-laying and a bunch of turtle doves seem unsanitary — not to mention a violation of city ordinances — we decided to gift you with 12 of something better: A handful of sex workers you should absolutely know about. Whether they’re becoming literary superstars, breaking the “stunt cock” mold or literally embodying gay Jesus himself, they’re the real gifts we need this Christmas. And no, not one of them is a turtle dove.
In the summer of 2020, Laura Lux was on a very early date with her soon-to-be boyfriend, Braeden, when they found they had something very important in common: Each was a major fan of The Simpsons. Naturally, the pair got comfortable on her couch and started watching the series together.
“I’d been shooting some other cosplay earlier that day and was showing him the pics, and he was like, ‘You should paint yourself yellow and do Marge,’” Lux recalls. By that point, she’d been popular on OnlyFans for about a year, and had dabbled with some light costumes in her sets — a pair of cat ears, a sexy sheriff outfit, a Hooters waitress uniform, all to supplement her signature topless shots. Becoming Marge Simpson would be a different sort of challenge. She didn’t think he was being totally serious with his suggestion, but the next day, she ordered yellow paint, a neon green dress and a blue wig on Amazon just the same.
Lux didn’t just stop there, though. “I shot the pics and showed a girlfriend who joked, ‘Do Moe next,’ again completely not meaning it as a serious suggestion,” she says, referring to the antisocial gargoyle of a bartender who serves Homer Simpson and his beer-swilling pals. Once more taking an offhand quip to heart, she ordered the character’s outfit — an apron, shirt and bow tie — and posed as Moe. Everything snowballed from there.
Among the most admired of her ensemble was Ned Flanders, the Simpsons’ religiously devout but “stupid sexy” neighbor. “People were so horny for Thicc Flanders,” Lux says. “I honestly don’t know what I expected, but the response to it all was so great.” Some typical reviews:
The series earned her the most-ever signups for her OnlyFans account in a 24-hour period — new subscribers leapt at the chance to see topless versions of her Marge (and Ned Flanders, and Moe). No doubt the unusual concept helped her go viral — more typical erotic cosplay for women, from Disney princesses to anime heroines, might not have had the same effect.
Lux, a 34-year-old Australian living in Austin, Texas, says OnlyFans was a “natural progression” from being “extremely online in a sexy way since the Myspace days.” She had come to L.A. on a work visa in 2015, having already made friends in the U.S. and hoping to further her career as a model and DJ. Later, a chance trip to Texas (including a day at the rodeo) convinced her to pack up and move to the middle of the country.
When she first logged on to OnlyFans, it was to experiment with it as an alternative to Patreon, where she hosted the same kind of “costume and sexy stuff” she does today. Lux says she posted a photo of lobsters on this new service, just to see how it worked, and didn’t promote the page at all. She “forgot about it for a week” — yet people signed up anyway. Soon, she realized she’d better post “something serious” to capitalize on the strong interest.
In the years since, cosplay has become a signature element of Lux’s brand, from her Twitter account (where she also posts about her several cats and just arranged holiday gift drive for children in foster care) to her Instagram (where she has two million followers and counting). Costumes, like the internet, have always been her long-term fascination.
“ I have always loved to dress up,” Lux tells me. “We don’t celebrate Halloween in Australia, and my whole life I would see stuff about Halloween on TV and in movies and feel so jealous that we never got to do it. In my late teens/early 20s, I was always trying to throw little Halloween house parties and make every birthday some kind of costume theme. I’d even go to parties in costume when nobody else was. I’m honestly not sure why I love it so much, I just find it so fun.”
Indeed, she once took a tour of New Zealand locations for The Lord of the Rings dressed as the elven princess Galadriel.
Still, the idea to incorporate costumes into her modeling didn’t come immediately. “I think for a long time, I saw cosplay as being exclusively limited to the absolutely incredible, huge, elaborate, handmade costumes you see some people do that are so far beyond my skill level (check out Jessica Nigri, for example, she’s amazing),” Lux says. “I always thought, ‘I can’t do that.’ But eventually, I realized cosplay is such a broad term, and I could bring my own spin to it and do some less elaborate, but incredibly cursed and funny stuff instead.”
By “cursed,” she means the stuff you might feel weird getting horny about — not only the Simpsons content, but a series of her as the “hot” Green M&M, or photos where she’s dressed as Forky from Toy Story 4. This, it seems, is where she truly shines as a costume queen: the genre of I-can’t-believe-she-actually-did-that. And her audience loves it. Before she became Marge Simpson, her biggest short-term subscriber boost had come from Forky.
“Forky was my first foray into completely insane character stuff,” Lux says, and while such getups aren’t as erotic for her as they are for the fans getting off to them, she has fun shooting them. “I’m laughing to myself the whole time,” she explains. “When I’m trying to be sexy while dressed as Forky, or the Green M&M or Ned Flanders, it’s a good time.” There’s nothing X-rated on the page, she says, and she doesn’t categorize it as porn — just topless photos and implied or tame nudity while in costume.
How does Lux decide who to dress up as next, and does she have a bucket list of costumes to try? “I don’t think I plan characters often,” she says. “They just kind of pop into my head one day because of something I watched on TV or saw online or whatever and I immediately put the outfit together to shoot ASAP.” In the early days, video games were a source of inspiration — one look was an early Fortnite skin, from “when the game was right at the beginning of what would become its rise to global domination,” Lux remembers. Another was Tifa Lockheart from Final Fantasy VII, her all-time favorite game. She points out how last-minute some of the elements are, including cuffs that were “literally just duct tape.”
But from there, she honed both her craft and knack for the unexpected choice — like Lyle Lanley, the one-off Simpsons character who cons the town of Springfield into building a monorail so he can embezzle construction funds. That was the installment of the series she most enjoyed shooting, because “it was kind of a niche thing that a lot of people didn’t get, but the people who did were like, ‘Holy shit, that’s amazing!’”
Despite how far she’s come from those first attempts, and the cosplay reputation she’s earned, Lux sees herself less as a luminary of the scene than a single creator among many producing “some really unique and funny” content with their urge to dress up. And while costumes will continue to boost the Laura Lux brand in 2022 and beyond, they’re not her only strength. “I have a lot lined up for the new year,” she says. “Aside from the cosplay, I’m gonna be focusing on creating a lot of cooking and travel content, and moving into the YouTube space with that.”
Beautiful vistas, delicious recipes and the forbidden sexy versions of Pixar creations and candy mascots? It certainly sounds like Lux’s followers are getting everything they could hope for, and then some. Maybe if you’re especially lucky, she’ll turn your strangest costume request into a seductive reality. I, for one, am ready to see Hot Jigglypuff.
Miles Klee
Miles Klee is MEL’s resident tank-top dirtbag, shitposter and meme expert. He’s also the author of the novel ‘Ivyland’ and a story collection, ‘True False.’
