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The Smooth-Brained Zen of the ‘I Love Shoes, Booze & Boys With Tattoos’ T-Shirt

Why try to navigate confusing brands and fashion trends when you could distill your entire personality down into the most ridiculous, representative saying known to man?

Do you ever wish there was a shirt that really let everyone know exactly who you are? A shirt that laid out all your hobbies and interests? A shirt that told the world precisely the type of energy you give forth, without you needing to say a word? 

By the grace of God, you’re in luck. There are thousands of bizarre, arguably A.I.-generated slogan T-shirts out there with hyper-specific statements like, “I’m a TAYLOR GIRL who works in the MEDIA INDUSTRY — I might be CRAZY and from MASSACHUSETTS but I am ME.” But one T-shirt in particular has captivated the masses: “I love shoes, booze and boys with tattoos.”

T-shirts with this phrase are available in numerous corners of the internet, from Amazon to Etsy. They come in just about every color and font you can imagine. Better yet, if a T-shirt isn’t your thing, you can also find the slogan printed on hoodies, water bottles, pins, shower curtains and mugs — I even found it available on a baby onesie. It’s unclear which site was the first to carry the phrase, or who came up with it, though. There’s no patent or copyright for it, so “I love shoes, booze and boys with tattoos” belongs to the public. As it should. 

@miagravess

sound off below with how you think i should con my way out of jury duty 🥰

♬ dear katara – L.Dre

It appears, however, that its popularity is due to a viral TikTok of a young woman attempting to get out of jury duty back in September 2021. Thinking she could dress poorly enough that she’d be dismissed, @miagravess filmed herself trying on a variety of outfits that positively radiated the energy of “send that bitch home.” In the video, she shows off the T-shirt in question, saying, “I think that just screams I have terrible judgment and shouldn’t be a juror,” and pairs it with bike shorts and Crocs. In a follow-up video, she said she successfully avoided jury duty. 

While her outfit was a joke, I must say this: If being on a jury is about representing your peers, then I absolutely want the woman who wears the “I love shoes, booze and boys with tattoos” T-shirt to represent me if I’m ever on trial. I’m unsure that I’d wear that shirt myself (do I really like boys with tattoos?), but we’re certainly kindred spirits, and she would understand my motivations for whatever crime I had committed and look upon me favorably. 

Ultimately, slogan tees like this represent the American people. There’s no need to try and navigate brands and trends when you can just distill your personality into a $20 T-shirt. It’s a straightforward, inexpensive form of self-expression. And soon enough, like most working-class, Y2K and “trashy” aesthetics, we’re going to witness these types of styles come back into fashion. 

So you better scoop up your “I love shoes, booze and boys with tattoos” shirt before the Depop resellers start selling theirs for $200.