Dude-strology: Does My Dick Get Harder During Certain Moon Phases?

Okay, okay, I get it: Dudes don’t care about astrology. But you should (especially now that Mars in in retrograde). Because I promise that it reveals all about the things that are most important to you — sex, love, family, friendship, money, work and much more. And so, that’s what I’m here for: To demonstrate that the answers to your most pressing/distressing questions reside in the stars.

In this episode, I offer astrological wisdom for the following questions:

  1. How long will the honeymoon between Trump and Kim last?
  2. Does my dick get harder during certain moon phases?
  3. What do I need to do to get the Cancer at work, who talks to me for 20 minutes every time I pass her desk, to leave me the fuck alone?

More importantly, write to me. Because men, I’m more than happy to tell you what your sign means w/r/t whatever is happening in your bedroom, your group-text chain or your office. Hmu at erin.taj@melindustries.com.

Erin Taj

Taj is the Art Director and resident Astrologer at MEL. She’s worked with Nike, UPROXX, Taschen, Red Bull, New Balance, and other brands as an art director, graphic designer, illustrator, and producer. She was born and raised in Los Angeles. She's a Leo, does jiujitsu, and has a giant bully pit-bull named Roxanne who's completely useless.