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By the Way, Ron Jeremy Is Woke Now

Update: Fuck Ron Jeremy

Update: I got duped by Jeremy’s 2017 wokeness campaign. I’m sorry I said anything nice about this piece of shit, and I’m sorry I didn’t retract it as soon as the public had a clearer idea of who he actually is. Journalists, don’t let yourself get suckered by a celebrity’s Twitter activism. Here’s the original article in full, so you can learn from my mistakes.

The history of 2017, a viciously polarizing year, will include many heel turns, strange alliances and surprising heroes. To the final category we now add… Woke Ron Jeremy.

As the world’s most prolific male porn star, who has successfully parlayed that image into winkingly self-aware meta-celebrity, Jeremy does preside over a notable fandom. But few expected the guy who played the janitor in 21 Hump Street to weigh in on this past weekend’s thorny NFL politics. And nobody, perhaps, imagined he would go much further than announcing his support for players taking a knee during “The Star-Spangled Banner” to protest police brutality toward people of color. But, again, this is 2017:

Yes, Jeremy — a famously well-endowed man nicknamed “The Hedgehog” — spent his entire Sunday owning and roasting racists, much to the delight of people who didn’t know he had it in him. What’s more, he had a finer grasp of the nuances at play than the sitting president. It was an exquisite revelation to see how his intersecting knowledge of a different multibillion-dollar entertainment industry and First Amendment rights could apply to the #TakeAKnee movement, and a blessed Twitter moment. It’s also not over:

Leave it to someone who bangs on camera to be direct about what others can only dance around: that white supremacy is not confined to fringe hate groups but embedded in white silence and white indifference, in the white community’s refusal to even hear the grievances of oppressed groups — especially if it upsets their Sunday rituals, which seems to be the only way to get their attention in the first place. Jeremy knows when someone’s getting fucked over, and he has the absolute freedom to say so. Would be nice if senators started making similar points, but let’s not wait on them.

We salute you, sir, for outstanding solidarity in the struggle, and for showing the rest of us how it’s done. May your humanitarian legacy one day eclipse your giant erection.