Like 69-ing, shower sex falls into the category of “things we pined for in our youth, but turned out to be something adults just pretended to like.” It’s similar to juice diets, journaling or early-morning workouts — it sounds nice in theory, and it sure looks fun when other people do it, but once you get down to business, it’s rarely as fun as it seemed.
That said, sex in the shower holds a special place in a lot of people’s hearts. For many of us, a detachable showerhead assisted in our coming-of-age masturbation moment. Tons of horny college students utilized their questionably clean dorm showers to bone without worrying about their roommate (or a nosy RA) storming in. And for the brave legion of couples willing to brave the slip-and-break-your-neck potential of a porcelain tub, the shower is still a (literal) hot, steamy place to get it on.
The more we age, though, the more shower sex falls to the wayside. Plagued by reduced flexibility, increasingly brittle bones and busy schedules that mandate quick, utilitarian showers, most adults prefer to bang in a more comfortable, less injurious location — a plain old bed (preferably an IKEA MALM model, please).
But sex in the shower can still be fun if you know the right positions to try. To better understand how to optimize this steamy, wet fuck habitat, I chatted with shower sex veterans about their favorite positions and other bathroom boning tips.
Grab a loofah and let’s go…
Up Against the Wall
The up-against-the-wall position is to shower sex what missionary is to bed boning — a classic with endless options for variation. It’s exactly what it sounds like — the receiving partner faces the wall, and the giving partner gets behind them and thrusts away. Usually, it’s helpful if the receiving person sticks their ass out a bit and presses the upper half of their body into the wall a little bit — this gives them more leverage on a slippery surface, and makes their holes easier to access for the giver. After all, when you’re dealing with a hot water heater with a solid five-minute heat limit, you don’t want to waste time poking around.
Anna, a 32-year-old marketing manager, has been showering with her husband for over a decade and still favors this position above all others because it’s the easiest. “I can just lean my hands against the wall,” she says. You can also spread your legs wider for more support, and hold each other close for warmth as the hot water turns menacingly lukewarm.
Sitting or Laying Down on the Floor
In this position, the penetrating partner sits against the wall or back of the tub with their legs in front of them while their partner gets on top. The penetrating partner can also lie down completely if you have a huge-ass tub and you’re sure there’s no chance of drowning.
This is a good position to bring a waterproof vibrator or a detachable showerhead into the mix, since the reclined partner won’t have to worry about balancing and will have easy access to their partner’s sensitive bits (especially if they’re facing each other).
The only downside of this position is that the person on top might get sore knees from riding their partner on the hard floor of the shower or tub. In that case, you can always use washcloths for padding or squat on your feet instead of kneeling on your knees.
Modified Doggy Style
If you love doggy style, you can try a modified, standing version in the shower where the receiving partner bends over and holds onto the edge of the tub, a bench or even the floor if they wanna show off the yoga skills they picked up during quarantine.
If your shower doesn’t have a built-in bench to lean on, you can buy one. It won’t be as sturdy, but it beats having to hold on to a tiled wall for dear life. You can also buy a shower footrest for the same purpose — this one has the highest ratings on Amazon, but most reviews recommend buying additional mounting supplies for extra support.
Roma, a 24-year-old server and actress in L.A., is a big fan of the hands-on-the-floor, ass-up variation. “It helps get a little bit deeper for me and the curvature [of being bent over at the hips] follows the natural curvature [of his dick] — it’s almost like [when you’re on the bed] and you put a pillow under your pelvis.” But even her favorite shower position isn’t without potential peril. “Since I’m curled forward, [the water] can get in my nose. It’s definitely not a pose you stay in for a very long time.”
Speaking of peril, definitely don’t hold on to the shower door handle, faucet or other flimsy fixtures for balance or leverage. I watched my college roommate break our towel rack with one twerk, and multiple viral tweets have circulated showing the messy aftermath of spontaneously (or not so spontaneously) combusting glass shower doors.
Standing with One Leg Up
This position is not for the faint-hearted and/or those who don’t have health insurance, but you’ve probably seen it in your favorite porn scene. It involves one partner standing up and the other partner standing and facing them with one (or two) legs hoisted up and bent around their partner’s waist. The partner with their leg(s) up can try lightly balancing their foot on a soap holder or the edge of the tub. Their partner can also grab on to the bottom of their thigh(s) for support.
You’ll probably have better luck with this position if, like 28-year-old Brianna, your partner is a dancer (or at least semi-flexible). “We definitely take it to the limit in the shower,” says Brianna, an L.A.-based musician who regularly creates OnlyFans shower content with her girlfriend. If not, start with one leg lifted and wrapped around your partner’s thigh or torso for leverage (that counts as dancing, right?).
I bet you’d love to be a fly on the wall while your partner plays with the detachable showerhead. Even if that’s not your particular fantasy, watching each other get off in the shower can be a hot (and arguably safer) way to go. Because there’s no thrusting and you’re not clinging to each other’s incredibly slippery bodies on an incredibly slippery surface, there’s less of a chance of a Sex Sent Me to the ER moment. You can watch each other masturbate, or one of you can put on a sexy, wet show while the other watches.
Another less-penetrative idea for in-shower fun that doesn’t require anyone getting on their knees (tile floors aren’t comfy) is a sexy, standing massage. You can use soap or body wash to do this, but Yvonne Perez Emerson, founder of wellness brand Make & Mary, suggests roll-on body oils or face and body serums for a sensual shower massage. Their particular serum includes frankincense, an earthy aphrodisiac you may have heard about from TikTok.
More Shower Sex Tips
As fun and nostalgic as shower sex can be, there are some tools and tricks you may want in your arsenal for optimal sudsy seduction. Carrie Smith, VP of Product Development for sexual wellness brand Cake, suggests silicone lube for play in or near water, since both water-based lube and vaginal lubrication tend to dissolve or dry up underwater or under the stream of a showerhead. “Just remember to clean up spills immediately with a mild soap,” she says. “Nothing ruins the mood like a slip and fall.”
Also, consider leaving the bathroom door open a little. If there’s no worry of a roomie or toddler waltzing in, it can help to get some airflow in the bathroom, as the heat of the water mixed with that thrusting cardio can get a bit overwhelming.
Lastly, get your ass on Amazon and order that non-slip bath mat, waterproof shower bench or footstool — they’re not just for grannies.