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All We Want for the Holidays Is…

Nothing. Everything.

It’s been a rough year and if you can’t get a little reprieve around the holidays then what are they even good for? As for us, we don’t want much. Only a bit of R&R. And booze. And a white Christmas. And our loved ones. And our parents to get back together. And to create an artistic masterpiece. And a series 3 1986 Jaguar XJ6 in British racing green with biscuit interior. Again, not much.

Nick Leftley, senior editor: Alcohol, and to be left alone.

Ian Lecklitner, assistant editor: The sweet release of death.

Serena Golden, managing editor: A few days off work, a bit of a vacation and minimal drama when we’re staying with my boyfriend’s family over Christmas. As a wise man once said: “Two outta three ain’t bad.”

C. Brian Smith, staff writer: Headed home to Connecticut. Yearning for snow on the ground, a crackling fire and Grandma Obie’s mashed potatoes.

Tim Grierson, contributing editor: Peace and quiet. And my wife.

Tracy Moore, staff writer: I have successfully transcended wanting most all material goods on the face of the Earth outside of good coffee, vintage deadstock glasses and pricey booze. That said, if someone had the means and generosity to give me a series 3 1986 Jaguar XJ6 in British racing green with biscuit interior in perfect working condition I suddenly wouldn’t be too good for worldly possessions.

Alana Hope Levinson, deputy editor: No internet.

Andrew Fiouzi, assistant editor: For my parents to get back together. I’ll settle for a New Year’s kiss, though.

Tierney Finster, contributing writer: It’s Capricorn season! I want to put Lemon on the Christmas playlist and have fun with my cousins.

John McDermott, staff writer: To sit alone in my apartment untethered from the internet and read a physical book. (I know this won’t happen.)

Hussein Kesvani, U.K. editor: A Christmas that actually finishes on time, where I can veg out and go on a Netflix binge by 8 p.m. At the very least, though, a limit on the forced “fun” families have to do to convince themselves that they don’t actually hate each other. A few games of Chubby Bunny or Charades really isn’t the best way of healing years of petty arguments and fighting. Maybe try Tekken.

Erin Taj, art director: In an ideal world, I’d paint something epic on the large blank canvas that’s been sitting in my living room for two years. More than likely however, the attempt I make at creating something I’ll actually like will fail miserably, at which point I’ll proceed to break my phone in an unnecessarily dramatic way and go sit in a sauna until I melt into a puddle of sweaty paint. Either would be nice though. I’d at least give myself an A for effort.

Josh Schollmeyer, editor-in-chief: Everyone above to leave me the fuck alone.