Illustration by Spencer Olson

A Psychic Explains the Allure of the Mile-High Club

The energetic workings behind our in-flight urges

Airplane bathrooms are not inherently appealing places. They induce intense claustrophobia, produce frankly alarming noises, and smell like a combination of toilet bowl cleaner and, well, toilet bowls. Common sense would suggest they’d be very low on the list of places where people would ever want to get it on. But their erotic allure is such that they maintain a devoted (if possibly aspirational) fan base — the ever-popular Mile-High Club. (Theoretically, you can join it anywhere on an airplane; realistically, the bathroom is ideal.)

Lacking any earthly explanation for the near-mythic status of sex on a plane other than the lure of a challenge, I sought answers from an otherworldly source: a psychic matchmaker.

Deborah Graham, star of TLC’s “The Psychic Matchmaker and author of Get Your Head Out of Your App: A Psychic’s Guide to Attracting and Keeping True Love, uses her intuitive gifts to help her clients find romance. When she’s in a room with people, she says, she can sense their energy. And when that particular room happens to be a plane, the energy is intense.

In addition to intuiting passengers’ thoughts and feelings, Graham has had client after client meet both life and one-time partners in the air. Here, she explains what the heck it is about airplanes that puts us in the mood.

From a spiritual perspective, why does sex on planes hold this mysterious appeal?
People are so infatuated with this energy, it’s not even funny. It’s almost feeling like you’re out of your body, having that adrenaline. Your psychic ability becomes alive, and you let down your guard because you’re up in the sky, you’re buckled down on the seat, the belt’s kind of tight, getting you kind of excited, and you’re starting to feel a rush of energy. Those sexual endorphins start to move in your energy field, and you start to get more excited.

Walk me through this process. What happens when you take off?
At takeoff, when you’re on an airplane and you feel that energy, it just starts to raise the vibration, and the energy starts to shift throughout your whole entire body. The plane needs to have energy and it needs to have gas to take off, so all those energies and all those vibrations are moving. You’re nervous because the plane is going however many miles an hour, and it’s almost like you’re in a time capsule, just taking off fast.

When you’re at that non-gravity field, you actually feel lighter. You actually get lightheaded. Your blood isn’t able to circulate as well, and it contributes to being more relaxed and tired. You ever get a dizzy feeling, like you had a few drinks? That’s what happens. It’s a natural endorphin that runs through your brain. It’s like getting high, man. And then, of course, you’re having a couple of glasses of wine, and those energies are really starting to move.

Then how does that all end up leading to sex?
You want to preoccupy your mind because you know you don’t have control. You have a tendency to drop down your walls so you’re not sitting there and getting anxious. That’s what starts making you less defensive about being able to connect with people and talk to people. The person who normally doesn’t talk as much lets down that wall. It makes them more susceptible, versus going into a bar and trying to speak to someone randomly.

People are on the plane and they’re just next to each other. They just start to connect. You don’t even need to go in the bathroom. You’re just basically touching each other there and then. There’s nothing there to hold you guys back. It’s not like that person can get up and walk away. You’re kind of forced into a conversation, and people are more energetically open to let in the possibilities of what’s going to happen. You’re thinking, “They’re hot,” and then you strike up a conversation, and before you know it, you’re in the bathroom together.

Why is the Mile-High Club fantasy so hot to some people?
It gives you a feeling like, “What happens on the plane stays on the plane,” so you almost feel like “I’m never going to see this person again, so what’s the big deal?” It’s the thrill of doing something you shouldn’t be doing on a plane, and it’s because you know you can get away with it. It’s probably something you’ll never forget. It’s right in you — literally.

It is the perfect position. All you’ve got to do is bend down. It’s giving you that energy to let loose, and I’m telling you, there is only one position that really works in that area. It doesn’t take a psychic to tell you that.

Is this just about sex, or is a plane also a good place to find a relationship?
A lot of people in my work have actually met people on the plane and had connections. Some of them ended up getting married. Sometimes, I will send my clients in the first few months of dating on a trip because they go on a plane to really get to know each other.

The altitude of being up at the higher frequency opens up your third eye. That’s your awareness to the part of your brain you normally don’t use, and when you’re at a higher frequency, you’re more susceptible to a connection to people: love, sex, and everything else. It helps you get more connected with your sexuality and spirituality. A lot of people on an airplane come up with some of their best ideas because people are calmer, and you start to use that part of the brain you don’t normally use when you’re on land.

How do you recommend people take advantage of this energetic shift?
I am not going to recommend having sex on planes, but I am going to recommend that people be open and be more aware of their surroundings, and when you see somebody next to you and you think there’s a connection, say, “Hi, my name is so-and-so,” and just start talking, because there’s going to be an opportunity.

There are no coincidences. I believe without a doubt that the universe has a way of putting you exactly where you need to be. If you’re sitting in 3A and she’s sitting in 3B, that connection could be meant to be, whether it’s a past life or a spiritual connection in this life. People should always be open and never be afraid to let down their walls and to always be open to the possibilities because the universe is always working to help you.

I’ve had several clients meet their soulmates on an aircraft. It’s not uncommon, so maybe people need to fly more. Get out there and see the world and have fun while you’re doing it.

Suzannah Weiss is a New York–based writer whose work has appeared in the Washington Post, the Village Voice, Vice, Salon, Cosmopolitan, Glamour and elsewhere.

More Sex and Relationships on MEL: