Every day, porn star and University of Southern California journalism grad student Tasha Reign wakes up to a curious string of emails from her fans, a devoted group of men and women she lovingly refers to as “Reigndeer.” Said Reigndeer ask her questions — so many questions — about her perspectives on sex, love, relationships and life itself, and as someone who’s had more firsthand experience in these areas than four adult women combined, she’s become uniquely up to the task of answering them. Every few weeks then, Tasha will select a few of these questions and provide her insight, advice and expert wisdom in the hopes that she can help you fuck and love better, too.
Titty-fucking. Do people actually enjoy this? I see it all the time in porn, but can’t imagine it feels very good, especially for the person with said titties. Is this one of those “porn only” things, or an actual thing I need to think about doing with my own titties?
I’m sad to say that yes, some men actually do enjoy titty-fucking. I say this because I find it silly, and I feel guilty for perpetuating it on film. I guess that men who love boobs find the idea of their member rubbing up and down their significant other’s breasts sexy and fun, but I find it very animalistic, and in a way, it makes me feel like they’re marking their territory.
That isn’t why I dislike it though — it’s just that I find it extremely challenging in a place like my bed where I just want to relax. When I show up to have sex, I just want to lay back and have a nice time. I want to enjoy myself and please my partner. I don’t want to have to create friction between my cleavage and angle my body in a way that feels outrageously laborious. Some women with boobs big enough to titty-fuck like the control it gives them over the partner, but I’d hardly say it’s a universally enjoyable act.
So my advice: Tell your partner to take a hike (or to watch some porn and stop pestering you about it). Or, if you want to, you can try it out — just make sure to oil up. That way it will look sexier and allow for optimum sliding. Lie over his legs, facing him as he reclines, as if you were about to give him head, then squeeze whatever tits you have together and bob up and down on his cock.
And if you don’t have enough tits for titty-fucking? Don’t sweat it. He’s lucky to have you there next to him no matter if your boobs allow for fucking or not.
I’m a really open person and very social-media-minded. And so, when I’m in relationships, I tend to post a lot of photos of me and my partner, updating my friends and followers about what we did and going into a fair amount of detail about our relationship. The girl I’m dating, however, isn’t into this. She feels like we should keep our relationship private and between us. What’s the etiquette around this? Where do you draw the line between privacy and being open?
First of all, I love that you and I are so similar. Being open-minded is the key to discovery and progress. Social media is a great tool for connecting us with the outside world, and especially during the pandemic, it’s allowed me to feel more “normal.” But, my sexy boyfriend Kyle is the exact opposite. He deleted his Facebook. He rarely uses Instagram. And when he does, he almost never posts me in his story. It breaks my heart!
But through therapy and lots of trial and error, I’ve come up with some good advice for you: Accept your partner for who they are. It’s really the only solution. If you want to post about her, then do it, but if she doesn’t want to divulge her love for you online to her followers, then don’t expect her to. I know that sounds hard to grapple with, but if you can let go of the idea that her love has to look exactly like yours, this can become a non-issue for both of you.
That said, where you draw the line between privacy and openness will have to be a decision you make with her. My deal with Kyle is that I have a private, personal Instagram for my close friends and family, and I can’t post about work on it. His family is conservative and he’s more reserved, so I had to compromise with him by making that account. Meanwhile, he posts about me on occasion, and I appreciate it when he does.
Of course, I break the rules every now and then. I sometimes post outrageous music and photos, but I’m human. I wish I didn’t have so much validation wrapped up in social media, but at the same time, I know that it’s a common feeling.
Have you seen the movie on Netflix, The Social Dilemma? I loved it. It speaks truth and education around our newfound relationship with social media. Might be good to watch together!
I really, really enjoy fucking my boyfriend. When we’re done, I often compliment him or say certain things that I liked so he’ll feel good about what he did and do it again. The thing is, he never does that for me. I never get a “Wow, that was amazing!” or a “I love the way you sucked my cock.” No enthusiasm or feedback whatsoever. Do I suck in bed? How do I get some affirmation without fishing for compliments?
Uhhhhhhhhh, me too! Why do men always use the excuse that they “aren’t as expressive” as women? Why has society made that fucking acceptable? I’m furious. Every time I have sex, I make sure to point out what I’m enjoying and what I want repeated, and I also always make sure to be complementary and give feedback. But although an orgasm is evidence enough that my boyfriend’s enjoying himself, I want to fucking hear it!
You do not suck in bed. You need to have a serious, sit-down conversation with your boyfriend in which you lay down your deal-breakers, desires, and most importantly, your needs. Personally, I need physical touch, verbal affirmations and to feel safe, but Kyle only got the picture after I made this incredibly clear to him.
When you have this talk with your man, make sure you give him lots of examples of what to say after you have sex — that way, he won’t have an excuse for not knowing what to say. Explain just how important it is for you to hear his compliments around your skills — if you let him know it’s necessary for him to give you feedback and enthusiasm after sex, I bet he’ll at least attempt to be more communicative with you, especially if you phrase it as you wanting to please him even more.
At the same time, I hate to tell you this, because I find it to be an utter travesty, but my therapist has told me that most men aren’t conditioned to show enthusiasm. Most aren’t motivated to be vocal, either. Whether or not this is true, it’s not a valid reason for keeping you in the dark. Men need to show up in a relationship, just like women are socialized to do.
I hope I have lots of boy children and raise them to express themselves so that when they’re older, consenting adults, they can learn to communicate with their partners about what feels good and what doesn’t. It’s just crazy not to.
Feel free to send me your sex, love and relationship questions at tashareign1@gmail.com!
Tasha Reign
Tasha Reign is an adult actress and patron of the art of dating, love, and everything sex related. She has given a decade of her life to the sex industry and gone on enough dates for all of Los Angeles combined. Ask her your questions and she'll do personal research to provide her best answers. She can be reached at Tashareign1@gmail.com.
