Stock photos are shitty. Stock photos are really, really shitty. At work I spend most of my day blindly searching through the 100 million photos on Shutterstock, asking myself, “Why am I sober? Why didn’t I go to business school? Are we going to get catered lunch today?”
But every so often the Stock Gods grace me with a gift from the deep abyss. A gift so weird that I must instantly send it to the nearest person I can find. You want a photo of a cyborg woman with a fetish for corn? Sent. Ever seen a chameleon with the head of a Labrador Retriever? Check your Slack!
Here are a few of my favorites from the weird stock photos I’ve found in the course of my normal workday.
— Sam Dworkin, assistant art editor
Nude Loungin’ on a Cheeto Puff
Farmer Chasing a Naked Man Off His Human Cabbage Farm
Centaur Meeting a Reverse Centaur on the Beach
Couple Happy About Buying a Sculpture of an Elephants Ass
Very Hair Man Getting Massaged (He Looks Like a Penis)
Labradorechamelon
“If You Love Him, Let Him Vape”
Old Woman Fishing with a Walker
“In the Future Cyborg Women Love Corn”
Pumpkin Patch Suprise
Mini Small Silicon Dolls
