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The Odd (and Oddly Sweet) World of Obsessive Pornhub Commenters

Who are Pornhub’s top voices in the comments? Why do they do this? And how many are there?

Adult actress Natasha Nice is onscreen giving Alex Adams  —  who is not her step-brother, whatever the video title might promise  —  an impressively enthusiastic blowjob. Meanwhile, down in the comment section, people are talking about Jesus.

The thread spirals on for another 35 comments. One includes an entire Latin prayer; there are also plenty of joking references to Satan and Jesus both loving porn.

I didn’t stumble upon this video or thread by accident  —  I swear. I wasn’t even scrolling through the hilarious posts on r/pornhubcomments. Nice herself sent me the opening exchange, calling it her favorite Pornhub comment.

Like most professional adult performers, Nice would prefer you watched her scenes on paid sites and leave comments there. Nor does she make a habit of reading the world’s biggest porn-streaming site for the text. But when I inquired, she examined the reactions to her Pornhub videos and came back with the best analysis of the commenting community I’ve read so far: “Looking at my scenes on Pornhub, the comments are very different. Most of the time, they’re not even about me! They usually are at the start of threads but then someone cracks a witty remark and they just go from there. They feel sassy and sarcastic. I appreciate the comedy  —  as long as they’re being nice about me  —  but I’m sure some of that sass could do damage. Still, it’s a very free platform to speak openly!”

Despite the reputation of many other free, open platforms, Pornhub comments are known to be creative, funny and surprising  —  not what you’d expect from people visiting a site to help them reach orgasm. (Many of the best entries are documented on r/pornhubcomments.) For example:

  • There’s a guy in Norway who comments as Shrek: “Wow this is good! But you know what’s better? Shrek 5 coming 2019!”
  • You can get valuable safety advice from the punningly named 9inchmales: “That smoke detector is low battery (listen at 12.15). I fuck with MILFs but I don’t fuck with fire safety.”
  • And you can always be reassured that other people are distracted by the home decor on amateur porn sets, too. Take comments like this one from ChippyChippah: “Is it odd that right after I came, I thought, ‘I’d really like to install a similar built-in bookshelf/desk in my home’?”

So who are Pornhub’s top voices? Why do they do this? And how many are there?

A Pornhub rep tells me that more than 500,000 individual users have left comments on videos, with a total of 3 million comments left in the last six months alone. In that same time period, people have commented on 850,000 different videos. And yet, despite the constant flow of new content, the most commented-upon video of all time is still Kim Kardashian’s sex tape, seven years after it was first uploaded.

Sadly, though, YoFokinMummer, the Jesus-loving commenter who received Natasha Nice’s seal of approval, didn’t hang around on the site for very long. The self-identified Brown Mills, New Jersey, resident watched five videos, left a scattering of comments and then disappeared. Their profile shows they joined the site and last logged in three months ago. That’s fairly normal behavior: The average registered Pornhub user who has left feedback on videos creates 3.5 comments.

Still, there are many other prolific voices who seem to be having a blast as the town criers of streaming porn. I reached out to them to find out what life is like in the community. I also talked to the actors they patronize to find out what they think of all this.

The Couples Fucking Onscreen Are Also Lurking in the Comments

In one amateur video with amazing comments, a couple has sex on a couch. No one’s face is visible  —  except the one on the wall above them: a painting of Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance in The Shining. Naturally, the comment section came alive with Shining talk. Even the performers got in on it. As it turns out, one of them painted the art.

Not only are the couple behind Egg2025 amateur performers, they’re also among Pornhub’s most active commenters. Five months after creating their profile, they’ve posted 25 videos of their sex sessions, racking up a total of 21,353,685 views.

What’s it like to be both performer and viewer? It’s just more real. “My favorite comments are whenever people talk about how they can see how much me and my boyfriend love each other and why they like amateur porn,” the female half of Egg2025 explains. “It’s real couples having sex, not some porn star in a studio with like six crew members around and a director telling them what to do.”

It’s obvious why Egg2025’s videos appeal to people seeking amateurs  —  their clips are short, simple and passionate  —  but surely, I thought, comments on your sexual performance must be nerve-racking, especially when you’re not a pro.

Actually, it’s quite nice! “When we started uploading videos on Pornhub, I was scared that people were going to call me fat, ugly or something else along those lines, but it was almost the opposite,” Lady Egg explains. “Most comments are surprisingly pleasant. There are occasional weirdos  —  and you do get haters every so often —  but they’re few and far between. And they mostly get lost in all the appreciation and humorous random facts.”

As a commenter, Egg2025 compliments others and leaves gracious thanks for nice notes about her scenes. “We comment because we’re responding to what people have to say about the content we make,” Lady Egg says. “It just makes me happy that people enjoy our videos more than anything else.”

‘The Pornhub Community Has a Lot of Straight-Up Comedians’

NoFaceGirl, another performer and commenter, has a simple explanation for what inspires her to post on other people’s videos. “I comment on the ones that I really enjoy, whether it’s a good fap or just because I can feel the passion in the video. It also helps if it’s filmed incredibly well. I like to give kudos when it’s deserved; it makes me feel more involved in the community.”

NoFaceGirl also enjoys reading the comments on her own videos. And just like the Egg2025 couple, she thinks Pornhub comment sections are pretty friendly places. “I love them,” she says. “Most of the time, the Pornhub community is incredibly nice. Yes, there are some weird apples, but overall, it’s fun to read supportive comments. It can also help you find what you’re looking for in a video, but the best ones of all are the funny ones. The Pornhub community has a lot of straight-up comedians.”

Case in point: In one NoFaceGirl sex video, we see everything but her face; what we see of his is buried in her ass. It’s well shot, energetic and getting a good response from the Pornhub commentariat. One exchange in particular made me laugh: “Nice ads!” Redtunder45 wrote, meaning “ass.” “Also btw, very good job diddling on the grundle.” “Call me the grundle diddler,” NoFaceGirl responded.

‘Any Comment I Read on There Comes Across as a Slap in the Face’

What does Pornhub think of all this? They sent over the kind of bland corporate statement you’d expect from any conglomerate, regardless of its type of business: “Our comments section has proven to be invaluable in that it provides a popular channel for users to interact with each other, as well as video creators. In fact, not only do they interact there, they’ve also been known to share ingenious life hacks as well.”

For a more colorful assessment, I turn to two of those video creators. Though 28 of her scenes have been uploaded to the site, Ashley Sinclair doesn’t care what people have to say about her there: “A lot of Pornhub’s content is stolen from those who pay to have content produced as a source of income. Any comment I read on there comes across as a slap in the face to me. If someone says, ‘You’re the hottest performer I’ve ever seen,’ many people would take that as a compliment. My first thought is, ‘If I’m the hottest performer you’ve ever seen, why are you stealing my porn?’”

Natasha Nice has a more lighthearted view: “You don’t go to the comments section of a scene on Pornhub looking for the most profound philosophical discussion on the evolution of pornography or even the state of human sexual exploration. It feels like a space for people to be goofballs  — sometimes stupid goofballs, sometimes rude goofballs and sometimes just silly ones.”

In fact, a comment on one of her latest scenes there fits into all three categories at once:

What a charmer.