Illustration by Dave van Patten

The Best Time to Fuck Is Sunday Morning at 9 a.m.

If men prefer morning sex and women prefer evening sex, a new survey suggests that men are getting their way

If the Brits can do it, surely anyone can: A new survey found that Sunday at 9 a.m. is the most popular time for couples to have sex, the Daily Mail reported, suggesting that British people have somehow found a compromise to the longstanding problem of star-crossed peak horniness among men and women that previous research has discovered.

It wasn’t always this agreeable. Back in 2015, the Telegraph reported on a survey of 2,300 adults that found that men and women have completely different schedules of desire. Men experience peak horniness at 7:54 a.m., while women experience it at 11:21 p.m. Men are larks and women are owls, it concluded.

“This shows that there are big differences in Sex O’Clock between the sexes,” the erotic toy company Lovehoney said of that study. “Men are ready for sex just before breakfast whereas women most want passion last thing at night.”

Looks like men won out. The new survey of 2,000 adults, commissioned by health and beauty retailer Superdrug in advance of a new line of lubrication, found that somehow, couples have come together at 9 a.m. on Sunday morning to get it on. “I’m not at all surprised that Sunday mornings are such a popular slot for sexiness: people are relaxed, and have more time on their hands,” a Superdrug spokesperson told the Daily Mail.

Tell that to people with children! But that glaring detail aside, let’s not get too excited about this development. While it’s great that couples can agree on any time to have sex at all whatsoever given the daily contours of most of our lives, it’s unclear why women had to pick up all the slack here. Men, in essence, are getting sex approximately one hour and six minutes after really, really wanting it. Compare this with the full 10 hours and 39 minutes women are going past their peak desired time to perk up at 9 a.m. That’s a pretty major sacrifice to make, when the midpoint between those two conflicting times would actually be — okay, it would be the middle of the night. Biphasic sleep schedule, anyone?