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How Do I Get Better at Dirty Texting in Quarantine?

And all your other most pressing questions for adult film legend Tasha Reign

Every day, porn star and University of Southern California journalism grad student Tasha Reign wakes up to a curious string of emails from her fans, a devoted group of men and women she lovingly refers to as “Reigndeer.” Said Reigndeer ask her questions — so many questions — about her perspectives on sex, love, relationships and life itself, and as someone who’s had more firsthand experience in these areas than four adult women combined, she’s become uniquely up to the task of answering them. Every couple of weeks then, Tasha will select a few of these questions and provide her insight, advice and expert wisdom in the hopes that she can help you fuck and love better, too. 

I suck at sexting, but I’m fully aware that it’s pretty much the only option right now. What are your top tips for talking dirty over text or DM?
This is a good one — sexting is a key task during the pandemic. I’m a huge fan of it. It’s a great way to tell someone what your desires are and walk them through your fantasies without the awkwardness of being shut down or rejected IRL (if you don’t have a willing partner, that is). 

First things first, I’d try to get as comfortable as possible in your home (or wherever you are) before you get into it. Even dressing up in lingerie or a suit that’s sexy as fuck can help you set the mood so what you type comes across naturally. If you have the time, make a cocktail beforehand so you can fully relax. Then, get out your “black mirror” device and let the debauchery begin! 

I’d suggest easing your way into the mood. Maybe start out just teasing and flirting a little, thinking of what would happen during an actual sexual encounter and emulating that. Talk about things like making out and foreplay, and then outline what you wish you were doing together. Envision the encounter happening in your mind and paint them a detailed picture of what you’re thinking — usually, the more specific you can be, the hotter it is. In fact, the key to a good sext is to be straightforward about what you want. Think of it as the transcript of a movie (or a porn). If you were together, how would it play out? 

Asking questions about them and their responses is a good way to stoke the mood, too. If they tell you they want to fuck, ask them how. If they tell you they’re horny, ask them what got them that way or what they’re thinking about. If they’re typing one-word answers back, they’re probably masturbating, but don’t be afraid to ask for more information. If you’re stuck and don’t know what to say, tell them details that turn you on so you can get more ammo to go off of. Be ready to play off their responses — it’s all about the banter and the back-and-forth. 

The best part for me is taking naughty photos and videos and sending them over (though I don’t recommend civilians do this because you never know when someone will save or share them). If your partner is into it, you can also send porn back and forth to illustrate what you’re talking about. 

But remember — the most important part of sex and sexting is CONSENT. Even in virtual reality you need to ask for permission to play.

I’m sexting as I type this, actually. I’m able to sext with my fans here, in case you were wondering. Maybe you can even text me now and get some practice?

My boyfriend is really sweet to me, like pretty much a perfect partner in every way. Only, recently, I’m turned off by how kind, attentive and obsessed with me he is. When we have sex, he tells me I’m the only person he’s ever loved and it’s just… ugh. He’s “too nice.” Am I an asshole?
Yep, you’re the asshole. But that’s okay! While many people would kill to have that kind of love and attention on them (cough cough), not everyone is turned on by vulnerability and kindness. Some people like a little more emotional distance, and others prefer to stay as far away from the proverbial pedestal as they can. 

It’s nothing to be ashamed of — you are who you are. But if you want to probe further, therapy is always a good start when it comes to learning why you’re like this. In your case, the question for a therapist would be why you’re bothered by his emotional availability. What about him being in touch with his feelings threatens or challenges you? Is it true that you really don’t want that type of passion and affirmation, or is there something else going on? 

I’m no mind doctor and I don’t know you, but if I had to psychoanalyze you from afar, I’d guess that you don’t feel worthy of how he’s treating you. You probably don’t know how to process that feeling, so it’s showing itself in the form of revulsion that he likes you that much. But what if you are actually that likable? Would that be so bad?

I get where he’s coming from, too. I know from firsthand experience that the feeling of being in love for the first time is magical. I remember when that happened to me in high school — I felt like my life and happiness centered around my boyfriend. The guttural feeling of loving someone so much that your heart hurts is irreplaceable, so he’s probably just letting himself experience the high of that emotion for the first time. 

Also, have you considered that it makes him feel good to tell you these things? Maybe, in his own selfish way, he’s doing it for his own pleasure — it feels good to love someone else, so maybe you can take some solace in the fact that he may be acting like this for self-serving reasons that have nothing to do with how great you are. 

All that said, if he’s too much for you, he’s too much for you. And if you can’t overlook how annoying he is, then please release him back into the sea of single people! 

Who has the best man ass in porn? I need to know immediately.
The results are in! I asked some of my favorite stars what man’s man-ass they absolutely love, and it seems like the same few men are on rotation. Jesse Jane says “Jean Val Jean” has the nicest ass, and I can confirm: It’s very firm, tan and just an overall dreamscape. He is honestly like a life-size Ken doll, and that isn’t really fair to everyone else. 

Next up, Anikka Albrite votes for her husband Mick Blue or industry hunk Manuel Ferrara. “Those asses are memorable and very nice!” she tells me. I most certainly agree. I like Mick’s ass and his dreamy blue eyes. 

There are just so many nice asses out there. Samantha Saint, Penthouse Pet and former Wicked contract girl wanted to weigh in too, but first she had to do some research. In her very exhaustive review, she decided that Danny Mountain and Brazzers contact star Keiran Lee were the winners. Many performers and viewers feel the same way, actually — Lee’s ass is, after all, quite thicc. So thicc, in fact, that Penthouse Pet of the Year and international sensation Nikki Benz voted for him, too. “He has a fat ass,” she told me. “Pretty sure it’s bigger than most lady asses in porn.” 

And for the last and final opinion, I vote for Isiah Maxwell. I like everything about his body, especially that tight end. 

Not all booties are dealt equally and not all asses are worked out the same way, so cheers to the men who realize it’s not just women’s role to keep themselves in shape and looking sexy in the behind. 

Feel free to send me your sex, love and relationship questions at [email protected]