Thirty-two-year-old OnlyFans creator and “smut performer” Cam Damage has been openly queer and non-binary since the beginning of their porn career in 2019, but it wasn’t until last year that they began transitioning more fully. “I cut off my long hair, started taking testosterone, started using ‘they/he’ pronouns and started dressing differently,” they tell me. Then, last May, Damage tweeted a request for surgeon recommendations — he’d decided to get top surgery. Reaching this conclusion had been far from easy.
Like plenty of other trans performers who transition during the course of their career, he worried part of his fanbase would drop off as a result of him changing his body. “Coming out as trans when you’ve already existed in the industry as your assigned gender at birth can be extremely daunting,” they explain. “Surgery and hormones change your physical appearance in the eyes of fans, and that can potentially have a huge impact on your livelihood when your physical appearance is quite literally your job.”
Although most of his followers were “kind, cool, mostly queer and alternative,” he was particularly concerned he’d lose interest from other people in the porn world, as well as cis men. “Even though I was always open about being non-binary and using they/them pronouns, I figured a lot of people still saw me as a girl,” they continue. “Because I had tits and a vagina, it was easy for them to file me into the ‘girl’ role in their heads. I assumed that once I got surgery, fans would have to face the fact that I wasn’t a girl, and I never had been.”
Especially in today’s era of porn subscription sites, which monetize a sense of digital proximity to performers as much as they do hole pics, it’s hard to block out the unsolicited opinions of fans. This is especially true for trans performers, whose bodies arguably come under a disproportionate amount of scrutiny. From debates about whether or not they “pass” to the ongoing prevalence of fetishistic, outdated porn terms, there are still plenty of obstacles in the way of making it big as a trans porn performer, and many of them involve regulating the way they present.
“The pressure is overwhelming for trans performers to consider what’s attractive and acceptable to a major audience,” says 32-year-old Xenon Universe, a poet and OnlyFans creator who started slowly coming out to his fans as a non-binary trans guy in late 2019. “When you aren’t cis-passing, white and thin, the desirability politics aren’t in your favor.”
When Universe decided to get top surgery in late 2020, he had to navigate the constant push-and-pull between wanting to be authentic but also not invisible — in other words, he wanted to be desirable. “Because our audiences may have kept up with us and supported us for so long, it can give them the idea that they have a say as to what we can or can’t do with our bodies,” he continues. “Either way, most people have an opinion — and unfortunately, it can influence how accepted you are within the porn world.”
This sense of entitlement that people sometimes feel over the bodies of trans sex workers is nothing new. In 2012, 23-year-old sex worker Mia Maffia told BBC News that although she was “90 percent sure” she wanted lower surgery, it would “ruin her career.” “My dick is my money-maker,” she said at the time. Similarly, trans guys who undergo bottom surgeries are largely absent in porn, both mainstream and indie, partly due to a perceived lack of demand and partly because of porn stereotypes that paint trans guys as perpetual bottoms.
In the groundbreaking TV show Pose, there’s a scene in which Elektra Abundance — a Black trans woman — is cruelly rejected by her sugar daddy once he realizes she’s had lower surgery after he explicitly told her she couldn’t. “A lot of people think we do it because it’s about ‘getting a man’ or something like that,” explained actress Dominique Jackson, who spoke about her own bottom surgery in a promotional interview for the show. “They never realize that we actually do lose men and lose friends when we decide to go that route. Because they’re not fantasizing about us being our version of complete with bottom surgery. They’re fantasizing about us being in this form, with ‘extra,’ as they would put it.”
It’s one thing for assholes to be opinionated online, but there’s more at stake when it comes to sex work, and the fact that both Damage and Universe essentially transitioned on camera added even more pressure. Because Damage tweeted openly about their research and the months leading up to going under the knife, they had to field plenty of unsolicited comments from so-called fans who felt like they should have a say in his choices. Last July, he tweeted a PSA: “Hey kids. I’m begging you. If you see someone post about top surgery (or any ‘cosmetic’ surgery), do not say, ‘Don’t do it,’ ‘I like the way you are,’ ‘You should wait,’ ‘You’re going to have ugly scars.’ No one asked for your opinion.”
But although some fans did inevitably drop off, Damage tells me his remaining fanbase actually became “more genuine.” “It weeded out negative people who had a false idea of me built up in their heads, and brought forward the great fans who have always been supportive of me and my work,” he says.
As for Universe, the fans who “reacted with confusion and hostility” to his top surgery “mostly just disappeared, which is unfortunate but understandable,” he tells me. Those who stayed for the ride, however, have learned plenty about Universe, and sometimes, about themselves. “It’s so cool to be the reason someone realizes they’re queer,” he says of the fans who self-identified as straight before he transitioned, and continue to fantasize about him now.
Still, whether fans were on-board or not, both Damage and Universe underline that most subscribers were loyal, sending gifts and tips while they were in recovery. Damage being open about their surgery may have led to a “slight increase in transphobia and ignorant trolls online,” but it was nowhere near the extent that he anticipated, and it’s also opened them up to an even wider audience of trans fans, who come for the nudes and stay for the representation.
“Before transitioning, I felt a lot of pressure to force femininity,” he explains. “I told myself that everyone likes an ‘alt girl’ with tiny tits, and that nobody would want to jerk off to me if I presented the way I actually wanted to.” Since transitioning, this has all changed. “I top people more, and I don’t put on outfits or makeup that make me feel uncomfortable. Basically, I don’t just shoot the things I feel like I’m ‘supposed’ to.”
As such, Damage believes his porn is even hotter since he’s taken steps toward his own contentment. “My porn is based on showing fans authentic happiness and chemistry,” he concludes. “Now, those things shine through more than ever.”
Jake Hall
Jake Hall is a freelance journalist, fashion features editor and author. Their debut book 'The Art of Drag' is scheduled for release in May 2020.
