Parents with more than one kid say they don’t have a favorite. They love each of their children equally! They’re all special in their own unique way! Yeah, sure, whatever, mom — why don’t you tell me the login to your Netflix account, and then we’ll know for sure who’s really the golden child in the family. After all, everyone knows that whichever child’s name or birthday is used as the parent’s password is the true favorite as the “password child.”
According to Urban Dictionary, the password child is the “obvious favorite child, as the majority of their [the parent’s] passwords are crafted using their birthdate or name.” In my family, there’s no mystery as to who the password child is. My niece is the sole grandchild and is therefore the center of everyone’s universe, mine included. Among other families, the role of password child is a bit more contentious. On TikTok, for example, there are dozens of people bragging about their status as password child, explaining why they’re not the password child or identifying which of their children take the role.
“I may not be the password child, but at least my parents named their boat after me,” one video says. Others use audio with lyrics like “I’m a motherfucking star” or “bow down bitches” to display their superiority as the password child. Meanwhile, some parents have started using a combination of these trends as they film one of their children with the caption, “I may not be the password child, but I am the reason my mom needs a drink,” which is certainly an interesting way of ensuring your child will need therapy as an adult.
In any case, how do parents decide what to make their passwords without blatantly excluding their kids? I asked a few people on Twitter with multiple children for answers, though none of them were brave enough to admit that they actually do have a favorite. Some get more creative than just using names and birthdays, which is probably a good idea for password integrity purposes. “I took their most repeated and favorite toddler phrases (‘red, red shoes!’) and used those,” one dad responded. Others just went with the easiest route, sticking with their firstborn child’s information and never updating it once more kids arrived.
Alternatively, they just don’t use their children for passwords at all. “Every day when I log in to work, I shake my head at myself for still using the cat’s name in my passwords and not my child’s,” another dad remarked.
To avoid any future drama, sibling rivalries or general feelings of inadequacy, it’s probably wise to choose your passwords according to some other system or make sure you switch ‘em up. The Netflix password is inspired by one kid, your ATM pin is another’s birthday, etc. At the very least, lie to your kids and tell them you use different passwords for different things.
Magdalene Taylor
Magdalene Taylor is a staff writer at MEL. She covers internet culture, sex and the online adult industry. She lives in Brooklyn but is from God's Country, Western Massachusetts.
