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The Fine Art of Pajama Butt Flap Sex

During the holidays, there’s no greater way to spice up your love life than taking dick in a onesie

Kevin, a 45-year-old from Florida, is a self-described expert in having sex through the butt flap of onesie pajamas. Earlier this year, he commented on a Reddit post about it, “Did this. It’s hot.” So I asked him to elaborate.

He’d bought his partner the onesie as a flattering, nonsexual holiday present, he says, but it turned into something more: “Her reaction differed due to the mind space the onesie places her in.” Kevin didn’t expect the outfit to enhance their consensual dominant/submissive role play, but when she puts it on, “she feels warm, loved, desired and protected.” Besides, um, “I can access her sex easily,” Kevin says.

Look, sex in the winter is tough. Undressing in a chilly apartment is a shivery boner killer. That’s why, during the holidays, there’s no greater way to spice up your sex life than to fuck through the butt flap in a onesie. Sitting on a couch with your partner as the fire roars, you two can feel cozy while knee-deep in a Disney+ and thrust.

My bf wants me to wear onesie pajamas and fuck me through the butt flap. from sex

Surprisingly, few other people wanted to talk to me on the record about butt flap sex. But on Reddit, there are myriad accounts of pajama panky, many rather innovative. One person recommended making it kinkier by “buying a normal onesie and cutting a tiny hole in the butt area” so your partner can rip it open. Another swears by the footless fuck onesie: “really beneficial for ventilation and correct fitting.” Another blamed the movie Wild Wild West — specifically, Salma Hayek’s butt flap scene — for forging this unshakable fetish.

Salma Hayek Pajamas GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Before you start tossing around with your tush, pick the right pair of Fuck Me Butt Flaps. You can be a booty bear. A reindeer with an exposed rear-end. Smoking-hot s’mores in need of a poking stick.

However you want to live your sexual fantasy, make sure it’s properly ventilated. Most onesies are made of polyester, fleece or chenille, which is code for hot, sweaty and humid. So find breathable cotton pajamas. LazyOne specializes in cotton onesies with a whole slew of adult sizes, called Flapjacks, in festive holiday patterns. And, yes, these flaps open wide.

Make sure to cool down your room so your hot onesie fantasy doesn’t start smelling like a sweaty locker room. As one experienced Reddit user says, “Just make [sure] you open all the windows or turn on the AC, because you are gonna cook inside that polyester shake-and-bake you call a pajama.”

Pajama Butt Flap Sex is part of the bottom rights movement, and now’s the time to put the hoe back in the hoe-lidays. But don’t worry if you can’t find any reindeer to ride. After all, onesies are about comfort. If the holidays are stressing you out, light a candle and crack open a book — along with some holiday poppers. Throw on that Toy Story Woody onesie. No one needs to know you’ve got a silicone snake in your boot.