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Office Workers Now Taking Cream, Sugar and Shit With Their Morning Coffee

The good, the bad and the ugly things we learned about our bodies today

One of office life’s simple pleasures gets taken down a notch today. If you’re one of the nation’s 83 percent of coffee drinkers and you make your coffee at work, and you use a reusable mug, get ready for the big surprise: According to a study from the University of Arizona, that “world’s greatest dad” mug has shit all over it.

You read that correctly: 90 percent of office coffee mugs were found to have bacteria present, and 20 percent were found to have a nice, thin coat of fecal matter. It’s fine, we’ll wait while you go throw up.

“Coliform bacteria were present on 20 per cent of the coffee cups before and 100 per cent of the coffee cups after wiping with a dishcloth or sponge. No E. coli was found on cups prior to wiping. However, 20 percent of coffee cups were positive for E. coli after wiping.”

That’s right: It’s the sponges that are the problem. As per University of Arizona professor of environmental microbiology Dr. Charles Gerba, sponges in a communal kitchen are rarely changed, and the wet, warm and food-laden environment they reside in is like Disneyland for bacteria.

If you want to be safe, Gerba advises, don’t rely on the night crew to clean your mugs for you — take yours home and clean it in a dishwasher. If you don’t have a dishwasher, buy a “small office cup washer.” And if you have no money, stock up on the office supply of Imodium.

A few other things we learned about our bodies today: