Last September, 32-year-old sex educator and “squirt queen” Lola Jean threw a “Cirque du Squirt” party in Brooklyn. It wasn’t her first “kinky carnival,” but the day-long event was billed as bigger and better than ever. From sexy performances to horny twists on carnival games — the “cock ring toss” and “pin the dildo in the butt” were two highlights — Cirque du Squirt had it all. “I guess I’m pretty campy,” she laughs.
The pièce de résistance was Jean herself, who put on a live display of her famous squirting skills. Jean’s best-known achievement is their squirting world record, which they earned in 2019 — kind of. “No record existed at the time, but I was working a lot with two researchers who said the max amount someone could squirt was 900 milliliters,” they explain. “I could squirt in six seconds without even putting my fingers inside myself. I had never measured exactly, but partners always commented on how much I squirted, and I could do it with immense control.” Confident in their abilities, Jean set their sights on proving science wrong and earning a world record in the process.
Next came the logistics. “I applied to Guinness [to formally recognize the record], but they flat-out refused,” Jean recalls. “They were like, ‘We’re a family organization, we can’t do that!’” Her steely determination won out, however. “My friend suggested still doing it anyway as a PR thing, so I invited a bunch of witnesses, friends and journalists to watch me squirt.”
Guest list compiled, there was one last challenge: “My friend Tiana was like, ‘How the hell are we going to measure this?’” says Jean. The first idea was to squirt into a puppy pad and then wring it out into some kind of measuring jug. But this was quickly vetoed. “I decided to squirt into this giant contraption, and then we put that into this funnel that would measure the volume,” Jean tells me, explaining that she was aiming for “more than a liter — partly for vanity, partly because [she] wanted to break science.”
Although she doesn’t remember the exact amount, she squirted on command and met her goal. “It was well more than a liter,” she says with a proud grin. “The audience really leaned into it. There was this group of girls who were wearing those umbrella hats, which I thought was so adorable!”
In many ways, this record-breaking squirt was something she’d spent her whole life preparing for. Jean was born and raised in Baltimore, by parents who “weren’t sex-positive” and would consistently get awkward at the mere mention of sex. By contrast, Jean was sexually curious from a young age. The first time she had sex, she was 16, and the second time, she was in a threesome with two guys. “I fantasized about the ‘slut’ narrative, but probably not in the healthiest way,” Jean explains. Partly, she attributes this to a lack of “healthy portrayals in media at that time” — when women were getting off on-screen, the implication is they were aroused solely by turning men on. “I was unknowingly becoming something for men to consume, and that’s where I was getting my pleasure,” she explains.
It wasn’t until her mid-to-late 20s that Jean started “undoing” the idea that fucking should be all about getting a guy off. At 25, she moved to New York, and in the years that followed, she began seeking out new, sexual experiences for herself.
Determined to rewire her relationship with sexual pleasure, Jean explored the city’s dungeons and sex parties to figure out what made her tick. She still needed cash though, so she started working at a local play party as a “playroom monitor” whose job it was to make sure the sex was consensual. By overseeing countless kinky encounters, Jean began to learn the ropes of BDSM, domination and power play, as well as having plenty of sex on her own terms. “I started working in sex education around that time, but I also started working in a dungeon as a pro domme and I became a fetish wrestler, all in the same month,” she recalls. “It all kind of happened at once. I was expanding my worldview of everything simultaneously.”
These experiences taught Jean plenty about the world of kink, knowledge that she now shares online in the form of video classes and concise, infographic guides on topics like “checking in” with sexual partners. For more specific queries, Jean regularly interacts with fans in Q&As, but she’s transparent about not having all the answers. “When it comes to sex education, I feel like the important thing is to show all the messy bits,” she explains. “We’re given sex advice in the form of these big bookends — if you do this, this and this, you’ll figure sex out, and afterwards, it’ll all be fine. That’s not the reality, which is why I love giving examples of awkward or uncomfortable things that happen during sex.” High-volume squirting, of course, is one of them.
If you want to see Jean squirt though, you’ll have to track her down in-person. A tongue-in-cheek package of squirting education videos on her site is priced at almost $100, a decision she made after tiring of people asking to see recorded proof of her skill. “When you publish this article, I swear people will say, ‘I need to see the squirting video, for scientific purposes!’ Firstly, when I squirt, it’s not that hot. Secondly, you won’t learn anything. I do it in five seconds, I don’t penetrate myself and I don’t orgasm.”
Basically, Jean is bored of her squirting being sexualized — so if you do want to see it, it’ll cost you. “I feel like squirting is a gateway into other kinds of learning. I love shocking people by talking about my squirting. I love completely shattering what people think they know is true and I also love disappointing men,” she says with a laugh. “When we talk about squirting, there’s this idea that men make you do it. There’s no agency for the squirter.”
As for her record, she’s not aiming to beat it any time soon. “I was planning to beat it at the 2021 Cirque du Squirt, but on that day, I just didn’t feel like it,” she shrugs. Jean did still do a squirting show, but instead of reviving her so-called “giant contraption” from the world record day, she decided to do it for fun with a little audience participation. “I ended up squirting so hard into this poor man’s face,” she recalls with a smile. “I definitely should have measured it!”
Jake Hall
Jake Hall is a freelance journalist, fashion features editor and author. Their debut book 'The Art of Drag' is scheduled for release in May 2020.
