In movies like Bring It On, bikini-clad cheerleaders sud up Toyota Corollas with oversized sponges, “accidentally” dripping ropes of white soap on their chests and giggling as the other gals playfully spray them with the hose, all to raise money for their squad. Perhaps (almost definitely) the bikinis are an intentional part of the promotion, or maybe the bikinis are simply the practical choice of attire when participating in outdoor water-related activities.
In film and IRL, the bikini car wash tends to be some type of fundraiser, though a permanent one exists in Winter Park, Florida. With the exception of the fact that the girls in Bring It On are supposed to be teenagers, I’m all for washing cars in bikinis and those who might make money doing so. Even on a personal level, cleaning my own car out of public view, wearing a bikini just makes sense. And maybe it’s even the better method of car washing.
I’m an advocate for doing whatever the hell it is you need to do to get by right now. Whatever it takes to get you off the couch and to get some chores done is probably perfectly fine and acceptable. Cleaning counts as exercise. Washing your car counts as exercise. And if doing so in a skimpy bikini like you’re in some hypersexual teen movie is the condition you need to get it done, that counts as exercise, too.
Per WebMD, hand-washing your car burns 135 calories per half hour if you weigh 125 pounds, and 200 calories per half hour if you weigh 185. This is comparable to walking a dog for the same length of time, or most other household chores. So while it’s definitely not like, P90X, it’s not insignificant either.
However, the stock photo utilized on WebMD’s article shows a man washing his car with a button-up, long-sleeve shirt on. I imagine if you’re washing your car with a shirt you might wear to church, you’re probably playing it pretty safe — you’re gonna wash it with careful movements so as not to splash yourself with water. You’re gonna avoid climbing onto the hood of the car to really get the windshield region clean. Maybe you even just wash the whole thing from a distance using only a hose, as car guys on YouTube recommend.
But if you’re in your bathing suit, there’s no fear of getting wet. You can really scrub that thing. You can get your whole body involved. Bikini car wash scenes in movies sometimes show girls rubbing down the car with their breasts — that’s gotta be a bit more rigorous than walking a dog, right?
Just look at this montage below. Those girls are writhing all over the vehicles. They’re practically squatting half the time. Their slow motions and awareness of their bodies and the fact that it’s being visually consumed probably means they’re exerting strong muscle control. And more than that, they seem to continuously stop working in order to rub their wet bodies together. That means it’s going to take a lot longer to wash the car. They’ll be here for hours!
In conclusion, washing your car in a bikini ought to burn more calories than just doing it normally, as a result of more intensive cleaning positions and simply because it might require more time. And honestly? It just looks fun. Right now, 2020 feels like I’m living in The Shining. I would much prefer to pretend I’m in Bring It On, instead.