His eyes big and pure, his back arched, the young man hunches over and looks upward. Lines of pleasure and surprise fly from his head. He seems to be bowing in adulation to a god, a boss or a parent.
Or maybe he’s taking some good dick.
Last week, RuPaul’s Drag Race star Courtney Act designated a new emoji for bottoming: the bowing man (đââď¸). As a corrective to our previously inadequate bottoming emojis, this one quickly took off on Gay Twitter.
This is the new emoji for bottoming đââď¸
— Courtney Act (@courtneyact) August 21, 2019
“Literally looks like doggy style,” says Ian Carter, a porn performer from Panama City. He previously used the common peach (đ) to talk about bottoming, but the bowing man is growing on him. To Carter, đââď¸ is “more subtle. It requires a high degree of intellect to understand it,” he says.
Other porn stars agree. CockyBoys model Mateo Vice tells MEL, âItâs the closest thing we got to a man bending over.â Canadian bottom Bl0ndeB0i appreciates the detail of the bowing man: âIt looks like a guy on his hands and knees getting fucked from behind. Even the lines on top make it look like thereâs action behind him.â
Bottoms assume the position!! get ready for the D! https://t.co/RVNf8m5rsy
— PowerBottom507 (@PowerBottom507) August 23, 2019
However, the emoji isnât fully beloved among all breeds of bottoms. OnlyFans star and essayist Ty Mitchell, also known as ProBottom, tells MEL, âItâs a no from me. The only bottoming emoji I recognize is đł. Unless youâre bottoming for a Republican. Then the emoji is đ¤Ą.â
Another adult entertainer, Beaux Banks, doesn’t think the bowing man encompasses all of what it means to be a bottom. âClearly, that emoji represents an idea. No emoji really represents bottoming, but if there were one, it would be this: âŹď¸.â
The varied reactions to the bowing man shouldnât come as a surprise. To me, it’s a welcome reminder of the vibrancy, diversity, joy and, frankly, openness of the bottoming community â a group that’s often judged unfairly.
Relax, breathe, communication is key. Say what you like and what you donât like. Donât be afraid to ask for more lube. Just bc your the bottom doesnât mean you have to be the submissive one. https://t.co/d20o6dtMLl
— Beaux Banks (@Beaux_Banks) August 13, 2019
Bottom Stigma and HIV Shaming
Sexual top-and-bottom discourse is often rooted in outdated gender norms. Historically, bottoms have been seen as more effeminate and undesirable, possibly going as far back to ancient Greek societies.
Bottoming has also suffered from an association with contracting HIV, creating a stigma against anal sex and pushing the narrative of HIV victim-blaming â a hot topic with a long history. This season on Pose, the FX series about New Yorkâs 1990s gay ball culture, Billy Porterâs character Pray Tell goes in on his lover Ricky for scoffing at the idea of taking it up the ass, saying, âThereâs way too much bottom shaming going on in this community.â
Even popular psychoanalyst Paul Joannides, author of the heterosexual sex manual The Guide to Getting It On, told Gwyneth Paltrow for Goopâs 2017 guide to anal that he âwould want to be sure my partner did not have HIV before Iâd even let him get close to my bum with his penis.â
No matter that it’s been five years since the FDA approved the HIV-prevention drug Truvada for PrEP. No matter that the CDC supports the science that being undetectable for HIV equals being untransmittable. The stigma against HIV (and, with it, bottoming) lives on.
Pray Tell: "There's too much bottom shaming in our community." A word! You better Pray Tell em!
Also, cis gay men, lets stop with the fat shaming, femme shaming… how bout we just stop shaming people. Periodt. Okay? Thanks. #PoseFX
— Steven Canals (@StevenCanals) July 31, 2019
we as bottoms are protesting poop-shaming tops by not douching through the whole month of august thatâs right mary get ready for Shit Dick Summer
— ty mitchell (@TyMitchellXXX) July 12, 2019
Happy #Pride and remember to check your TOP privilege
— The Gay Burn Book (@SouthernHomo) June 2, 2019
Bottoms Are Kings
Bottoms deserve more than just rights and respect â they need good dick, too.
To that end, a few porn stars have unequivocally and proudly embraced the bottom brand. OnlyFans star DamagedBttm â Twitterâs unofficial guide to all things anal â came up with his name after someone sarcastically tweeted that tops donât get enough respect. (The âdamagedâ part comes from his love for rough sex.)
âThis is just an overcorrection to get people to where thereâs mutual respect,â he says. Thatâs why I go so hard against tops. And itâs funny to watch them get mad. [Tops are] way more sensitive than youâd think. It started as a joke but then it became something real.”
In response to bottom stigma, U.K. OnlyFans star Methful has become an ass advocate. âIâm helping to reclaim it, I hope, through teaching everyone how to use tops the way tops use bottoms,â he tells MEL.
Aside from using tops âlike the human dildos they are,â Methful is embracing the attitude of the bowing, pleading man with helpless eyes. âItâs the emojification of that feeling when the high school quarterback winks at you playfully, but you know heâll never love you back,” he says. “He might raw-breed you and thank you for it when his girlfriend is in Cancun, but he will never, ever reciprocate.â The bowing man, then, is âany bottom who has fallen for an aloof, emotionally unavailable top.â
‘A Sexual Thought Prison’
Some would argue weâre doing ourselves no favors by embracing the top/bottom dichotomy. As we celebrate fluid sexuality, so too should queers be encouraged to move freely through a variety of sexual positions. âI think thatâs part of the problem. Weâve literally made identities out of sexual positions. Itâs a sexual thought prison,â Wood Miller, author of the books How to Bottom Like a Porn Star and How to Top Like a Stud, told GQ last year.
And, of course, bottom shaming isnât the only stigma attached to gay sex. Grindr implemented a policy to eliminate phrases like âMasc 4 Mascâ and âNo fats, no femmes and no Asians,â which function as code for heteronormative, Western views of sexual desire.
Nick Milani, a JustForFans star, hasnât experienced the disparity between tops and bottoms. However, he is a fan of the bottom emoji now that he’s seen Courtney Actâs tweet. âIt just makes being a bottom more fun,” he says. “Now we have a go-to emoji.”
DamagedBttm objects to the idea that identifying as a sexual position is regressive. âI know that I like to bottom and I donât like to top, so Iâm comfortable identifying as a bottom,â he says. And while he supports the bowing emoji, heâs found an alternative that feels more true to his bottoming. âPretty much every time Iâm getting choked, I make a puppy-dog face,â he says, imitating the 𼺠emoji. âEvery bottom is built differently. Every position feels different. We all find our emojis that best fit us.â