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Mike Rampton

Mike Rampton is a freelance writer who lives in London. He enjoys making aggressively difficult puns, drinking on trains and pretending to be smarter than he is. He would like to own a boat one day but accepts that he probably won't.

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Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Burritos

Could Jesus microwave one too hot to eat? Can you snuggle up like one? Let’s find out the truth.

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Pumpkin Spice

Is it basic as hell? What’s the relationship with actual pumpkins? Let’s find out the truth.

An Overly In-Depth Analysis of Aerosmith’s 50-Year Career Based on Steven Tyler Screaming ‘YAKKA-KAKKA-KOW-YAKKA-KOW’

What the big-mouthed rock god’s scat gibberish can teach us about showmanship, sex, America and life itself

What Is ’Roid Energy — And Does Trump Have It?

A Probing Look at the Important Career of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Ass

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Coffee

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Wine

You Can Fart From Your Penis (Yes, Really… Well, Okay, Sort Of)

Why Isn’t My Laptop Coffee-Proof (Or My Phone Toilet-Proof) Yet?

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Oktoberfest

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Video Games

Five Lies You’ve Been Told About the Munchies