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C. Brian Smith

C. Brian Smith writes hard-hitting gonzo features for MEL, whether it be training with a masturbation coach, receiving psycho corporal treatment from a spank therapist, or embarking on a week-long pleasure cruise with 75 Santa Clauses following their busy season.

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How Do You Send Food Back Without Sounding Like a Dick?

First things first: Don’t sound like a dick

Cryofreezing Your Balls Won’t Make Them Look Better

No matter what a new British company claims

A Soup Cleanse Changed My Life… Till I Found Out It Hadn’t

Just like every other so-called cleanse, the magic fix is only temporary

Why Can’t Men Conceal Their Breakouts, Too?

All the Things Condoms Have Been Used for Besides Birth Control

Do Your Balls Really Turn Blue When You Have Blue Balls?

The Very Manly Ways Coffee Became a Very Manly Pursuit

I Miss My Catfish

The White-Collar Walk of Shame

My Afternoon With a Masturbation Coach

Taco Bell’s Healthy Menu Options Drove Us to Taste-Test the Naked Chicken Chalupa

A Short Explanation of Shrinkage