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Countdown to Groomsday

MEL’s guide to getting through wedding season without ruining your life (or someone else’s)

This summer we’re betting you’re one of these guys (if not a few of them): The groom; the best man; one of the groomsmen standing next to the best man; the father of the groom; the father of the bride; the brother of the groom; the brother of the bride; the guy trying to fuck one of the bridesmaids; the guy trying to fuck one of the groomsmen; the guy who wasn’t good enough to be a groomsmen and is now an usher; and/or the random plus-one looking for a free drink.

Whichever the role, it can be confusing. Each comes with its own rituals, responsibilities and anxieties. And the stakes are high: Fail, and you’re fucking up what’s supposed to be the greatest day of someone else’s life. Even worse: You could be fucking up the greatest day of your life. Or the unthinkable: You could be ruining the greatest day in the life of the person with whom you’re intending to spend the remainder of your years.

On the flip side, success will make you a legend — the standard for all other grooms, best men, groomsmen, fathers, brothers, wedding-day hornballs, ushers and Johnny Randoms in perpetuity.

That’s why, through Friday, we’re turning over the site to our First Annual Groomsday Issue. Today’s posts, which can be found below, have to do with everything that takes place before the till-death-do-you-part pomp and circumstance — from engagement ring economics to bachelor party bacchanal. Tomorrow, we will explore the ceremony itself — from how to marry family and friends yourself to the reasons why getting married is now a class thing, too. On Friday, we’ll wrap up with the fun stuff — from the reception to the wedding night to the honeymoon.

We do solemnly swear that you won’t be anything other than a wedding legend afterward.