As a major anxiety sufferer and California resident, I’ve had a prescription for medical marijuana since 2006. In the decade since, I have tried — and made — all sorts of crazy cannabis products, but these days every time I go to the dispensary I see some new thing that you can eat or drink or rub on your body. As a public service, I decided to test out some of the more intriguing options to see whether they live up to the hype.
I’m getting high for you, folks, and don’t you forget it.
So let’s find out what happened this week, when I freshened my breath with some minty weed gum. Did I avoid watching the debate? Did I blow hella bubbles? Did I totally bail on my plans? Let’s find out.
Product: Plus Cannabis Infused Gum
Ingredients: Not listed, but, you know, it was just gum and each piece has five calories so there’s probably a little sugar in there.
Purchased from: Exhale Med Center in West Hollywood
Suggested dosage: Each package contains one piece of gum infused with 25mg of THC.
Actual dosage: I don’t like chewing on tiny pieces of gum, so I popped two pieces at the same time for a dosage of 50mg.
Flavor: Honestly, I was shocked. At first the gum had a very strong weed flavor, but it very quickly subsided into a normal spearmint taste that was super pleasant to chew. Also surprising: The texture was pretty much just like regular gum, and I happily blew bubbles during the two hours I chewed it. I wasn’t sure how long I was supposed to go! And the gum continued to hold its flavor the entire damn time. Eventually I took it out because I got hungry, but even at the end it tasted great and I was left wondering how you even make weed-infused gum, you know? A real mystery.
The high: Well, initially my idea was that I would chew on my dosed gum and watch the debates, but the thing is I really don’t like being lied to and shouted at by a deranged old man, so instead I got some work done and avoided Twitter and watched old episodes of Catfish while I waited for the THC to kick in. And waited, and waited, and waited.
It doesn’t say on the package whether the gum is more sativa and more indica, but I guess I had assumed it would be an uppy, fun sativa. Gum just feels like an active product, something to take with you on the go and to chew discreetly when you’re out having adventures. Since it was my friend’s karaoke birthday party at a bar down the street from my house I figured I’d get high and go rock out and this would be perfect!
Well, it wasn’t. I didn’t even make it out of my bedroom, y’all. I got tired, and then depressed, and then guilty that I didn’t want to go out like I had planned which made me even more antisocial. I wasn’t anxious, so at least there’s that, but I also didn’t feel high as much as perplexingly sleepy and bummed out. I fell asleep and slept for 11 hours and woke up in a panic because I had to write this column even though I still feel like I could sleep for 11 more. This gum turned out to be one of the strangest edible experiences I’ve ever had.
Conclusion: Lord, I don’t even know. Two out of six pot leaves for the gum, I suppose, and most of that is for solid spearmint flavor. Maybe I was in a weird place, but that can’t be all that was going on. I’d be interested to hear someone else try the product out — perhaps this was just a weak batch with a shitty strain — but as for me, I’ll be steering clear.
