Illustration by Carly Jean Andrews

That’s My Fetish: Daddy Dom/Little Girl

An occasional series about men’s most intimate proclivities

Name: Benjamin
North Carolina
Daddy Dom/Little Girl

When did you first discover you were interested in a DDLG relationship — where you’re the authority to a childlike partner?
When I was 16 and in my first long-term relationship, my girlfriend and I first experimented with DDLG-ish tendencies when we role-played with each other before having sex. Looking back at it, it was pretty stereotypical and influenced by a societal parody of porn, but my God, it was exceptional.

She’d been in a mood all day, and when we got back to her place, we ended up in the basement of her parent’s house. She dressed up in a classic Catholic schoolgirl look — because clearly we were just the most creative — and tried calling me “Daddy” at first. This elicited a few giggles and knowing smiles, but that little change in name-calling and role-playing made things heat up quickly. Seeing her cheeks flush with light embarrassment that deepened as I grabbed on to her hair, seeing her eyes dilate as she looked up at me — it was truly intoxicating.

At the end, when she moaned, “Thank you, Daddy” into my ear, I felt the seeds of this fetish root deep into my system.

Did this become a regular part of your sex life right away?
After that night, we really didn’t try it again. We had a couple of occasions over the next six or seven years where she took charge — more dominatrix/disciplinarian than a true switch who goes back and forth between dom and sub roles — which was just as enjoyable, but after that night of exploration, as wonderful as it was, we never went back to that DDLG mindset or role play.

What about today? Are you currently in a DDLG relationship?
I’m in a relationship now with a girl named Katie I met on Bumble this past summer. It was sometime in the second week of texting where she had directly asked me, “Hey, have you heard of DDLG before?”

I responded that I had and experimented with it a long time ago, but never really sunk my teeth into it. From there, she told me about how it was a big part of her life and how much she loved it and asked if I would be comfortable exploring more of the full-time relationship side of DDLG, rather than solely the sexual side of it — from the caretaker role to the immensely sexual part. I agreed, and now we’re a few months in.

Can you describe how your DDLG relationship is different than other relationships you’ve had?
Everything is a lot closer and tightly knit. Katie and I stay in lockstep for everything we do: From helping her with homework, providing life advice, to more intimate matters of picking out her clothes for her, dressing her, brushing and putting up her hair, and so on. I’m in charge of everything and pay for everything we do. There are rules about checking in with me for class, doing homework, eating all her meals, taking her medicine, as well as about cussing, missing classes, and not taking care of herself.

Source: Tumblr

Describe a typical sexual encounter with your partner.
I’m the one to take charge, running my fingers through her hair, and asking her if she wants Daddy to take care of her. She’ll say, “Yes, please! Please, would you Daddy?” I’ll ask her to take off her skirt or leggings. While she does, I’ll “accidentally” get in the way, kneeling down to kiss her thighs, knees, calves, and feet. I ask her if she’d like to touch herself or if she’d like Daddy to take control. Usually she’ll smile and say something along the lines of “Well, I belong to Daddy, so Daddy can take control of Princess!”

In Katie, I have someone who is solely focused on making me cum as often as possible. Which works out for her, because I take quite a while to cum, so she gets multiple orgasms out of the deal. Then we go again. She’s a self-identified masochist, so I’ll bite, pull, lick, choke, pull her hair hard, grab her by the back of the neck, bend her over and spank her and so on. We’re both insatiable and have trouble being in a confined space with each other for any more than 10 or 15 minutes before we have to start touching or kissing or something. It’s amazing.

What is it that turns you on about this fetish?
If I had to narrow it down to one thing, it’s how much control I have over her combined with how open we’ve been about our lives, trying new things, and not being afraid to say you don’t like something or don’t want to try something. Having that level of communication is key to not just making this DDLG relationship work, but making any relationship work.

Are you open about your fetish with the other people in your life (friends, family, etc.)?
I’ve mentioned our fetish to one other friend, just to get a feel of what they thought. And while they didn’t necessarily like it themselves, they could see how happy it made me and how happy Katie made me. Outside of them, I haven’t mentioned it to anyone else. I know Katie has a handful of close friends that know she’s a Little and what kind of relationship she’s in, but I think they knew before I even came into the picture.

What advice would you give to someone discovering an interest in this particular fetish?
I would learn as much as you can about DDLG as you can. There’s huge communities out there for age play/DDLG/CLG where you can ask questions, read others experiences, and even find rules.

I would be mindful of where you look, though. I know there’s a pretty big divide between non-sexual and sexual DDLG within the community. But don’t be afraid to explore.

Beyond that, if you have a friend or significant other you feel safe talking to, I would talk to them about it. Let them know how you feel, what you think, and get it off your chest and out into open air.