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Sharing a Name With Freddy Krueger, and Other Unspeakable Halloween Horrors

His name is Freddy Krueger, but he’s not the murdering psychopath from Nightmare on Elm Street. This Freddy Krueger is the greatest competitive water skier who’s ever lived. Krueger’s parents weren’t trying to saddle him with a lifetime of bad jokes—he was 9 when the first Nightmare movie came out. Ever since then, his life has been filled with inconveniences large and small—from not being able to book an airline ticket over the phone or order a pizza (“This is a joke, right?”) to having people scream in feigned horror when he appears at their door.

Check out the full story here—and all of our other spooky Halloween content below.

More Tales of Terror:

What Does a Sexy Male Halloween Costume Look Like?

‘Do women want to see an emphasis on the penis? Generally speaking I would say no’

My Arm Was Eaten by an Escalator

It was as embarrassing as it sounds, but surprisingly, not as painful

Nick Cutter Will Scare the Shit Out of You Like Stephen King Never Did

A conversation with the best literary gore-master working today

The Garbage Patents of Halloween

Americans have invented a lot of Halloween-related technologies, many of which are dumb

L.A. Is the Capital of Halloween. These Are the City’s Best Immersive Scares.

This Halloween, get your creep on

Replace Your Emoji With 17th-Century Monsters

Some suggestions for really freaking out your friends this Halloween

The Most Recognizable Face in Horror

Cult star Michael Berryman explains what it’s like to be the guy who gets the call whenever a movie needs a good scare

‘I’m Always Collecting Human Heads’

Talking to the fake corpse-designer who keeps Hollywood’s mass murder scenes full of cadavers

I’ve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

The story of Jonah White, the second in our series of Unusual Millionaires

Channeling Your Natural Creepiness for Cash

For Will Galarza and other scare-actors, spooky season is year-round