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JFK Grandson Jack Schlossberg Is Politics’ First Shitposter

It’s the unhinged extremely online representation in politics for me

The problem with just about every politician? They’re out of touch. Part of the reason that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is adored by leftists and vilified by the right is her innate comfort with social media.

Unlike her older constituents, who waste important congressional hearings to confuse Facebook and Twitter in front of Mark Zuckerberg, or alt-righters, who use Twitter to push dangerous conspiracy theories, Ocasio-Cortez is quick to whip out her phone and go live on Instagram, speaking directly to the country and correct the latest erroneous narratives about her. It’s unprecedented to have a politician with the effortless range to stan Drag Race contestants and explain political convention rules. (Yes, she did in fact endorse Joe Biden on Tuesday.)

No longer, though, will Ocasio-Cortez stand alone as an extremely online player in the political arena, a young voice who actually gets it. On the second night of the Democratic National Convention, John F. Kennedy’s only grandson, Jack Schlossberg, made his political debut in what will go down as the watershed moment for the shitposting community.

Schlossberg and his mother, Caroline Kennedy, appeared together, lauding Democratic nominee Joe Biden and drawing comparisons to JFK’s acceptance speech 60 years ago. This was reportedly Schlossberg’s first speaking role at a national political stage. 

After gazing upon this real-life Prince Eric from Little Mermaid, I went straight to his Instagram to quench my thirst for the spitting image of his uncle, JFK Jr. I expected to find posts of this Harvard student extolling his family and his career, like most rich 27-year-olds do. Instead, I stumbled upon random etymological facts about… stromboli.

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Weenie, weenie, weechie!!

A post shared by Jack Schlossberg (@jackuno) on

Schlossberg uses Instagram to break down similar words to his 53,000 followers: duck vs. mallard, bull vs. ox, ascot vs. cravat, even camouflage vs. cloak. His posts are odd and jarring, riddled with “graphic design is my passion” energy. But it’s only made me more obsessed with this chaotic king hiding out in the Kennedy family.

He’s far less guarded than his fellow Kennedy heir. Schlossberg’s second cousins Patrick and Katherine Schwarzenegger are Hollywood celebrities who primarily speak through interviews controlled by publicists, while Conor Kennedy (who briefly dated Taylor Swift in 2010) largely stays offline.

Outside of the family, the Trump children only push the family’s racism and refuse to genuinely engage with their critics. Chelsea Clinton is a #Resistance poster, while Meghan McCain offers tone-deaf media punditry. Gen Z reps Malia and Sasha Obama don’t have social media accounts.

But it’s Schlossberg who is doing the work of saying, Yes, there is room for pointless posting in the changing political landscape. He’s devoted an entire Instagram Highlight to trolling his father, Edwin Schlossberg.

Schlossberg is publicly stanning Kesha, as he rightfully should. 

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It’s going down!

A post shared by Jack Schlossberg (@jackuno) on

He believes that “Uptown Funk” represents “a decade of low interest rates” and “access to cheap credit.” Don’t know what that means, but okay!

He is even guest-starring on Blue Bloods as a police officer named… Jack Hammer.

Schlossberg didn’t have to be so odd on main. He’s hot. He could have just sat there with his piercing eyes and been public friends with Antoni Porowski from Queer Eye.

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Two larges and a medium.

A post shared by Antoni Porowski (@antoni) on

Instead, Schlossberg has gone out of his way to say you can be deeply unhinged and still be taken seriously as an American pundit. That is the public support I want from my elected officials and political heavyweights.

When his grandfather said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country,” Schlossberg responded with a duty to shitpost. Now that’s public service at its best.