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Everyone Hates My Sign. How Do I Learn to Appreciate It?

Also: Why do I feel nothing like my sign?

I’ve been told so many times that most straight men don’t (or won’t) believe in astrology. And yet, the more I yap about it to the guys around me, the more interested they seem to become. So this column is dedicated to those dudes: The suspicious and the curious, the skeptical and the inquisitive. I’ll be here every week, tackling the stuff your basic-ass horoscopes will never get into. Because you know what? You might think astrology is esoteric snake-oil, but everyone around you still judges you based on your star sign.

Everyone hates my sign, so how do I learn to appreciate it? — Ian L., Cancer
I highly doubt everyone hates your sign, but for the sake of indulging this extremely martyr-y Cancerian question, I’d say look into what it truly means to be a Cancer. Especially because being the fourth sign of the zodiac (ruling over your home life, your childhood and your internal safe-space), Cancer has the karmic imprint of learning how to feel at home within itself.

In other words, it’s every cancer’s job to learn how to accept themselves and not search for validation from others. Remember: The crab is a self-contained creature; therefore, your goal in life should be to develop a shell thick enough that no one else’s opinion ever matters. This is typically more difficult for Cancers whose homes aren’t in order — to that point, everything okay at home? — but with enough time and maturity, these Cancers can build an impenetrable shell and block out the opinions of others, too.

That’s something to appreciate, right?

Would you believe me if I told you I was the complete opposite of my sign? Scout’s honor. There’s really nothing about me that matches what you’d consider a typical Aires. — Cooper F., Aries
Yes and no.

Yes, because there are so many other factors in a chart that determine our overall personalities. For example, if you have a rising sign that has nothing in common with Aries (say Taurus), your default would be to be outwardly Taurian. This could also be a coping mechanism you developed at an early age if the messaging you received while young (from family, from friends) was that there was something wrong with your Aries energy (that you’re too impulsive, too self-motivated or too hard-headed). As a result, you’ve learned to bury the Aries deep inside, and present as a Taurus, someone who is calm, level-headed and methodical (or you know, the exact opposite of an Aries).

No, because the Aries energy is still there, it’s just been repressed. And so, I highly suggest you get in touch with and own that energy, lest it explode randomly and uncontrollably. This is why I always suggest looking at your entire chart. We all have imbalances we need to work on, and in this case, it seems like you feel guilty for having Aries energy. Just don’t let that guilt turn into something far worse (and counterproductive).

Write to me! Because dude, I’m more than happy to tell you what your sign means w/r/t whatever is happening in your bedroom, with your friends and family or your job/office. Hmu at