As a major anxiety sufferer and California resident, I’ve had a prescription for medical marijuana since 2006. In the decade since, I have tried — and made — all sorts of crazy cannabis products, but these days every time I go to the dispensary I see some new thing that you can eat or drink or rub on your body. As a public service, I decided to test out some of the more intriguing options to see whether they live up to the hype.
I’m getting high for you, folks, and don’t you forget it.
So let’s find out what happened this week, when I sprinkled some extra-special CBD powder seasoning over my picnic. Did I eat the perfect amount of potato salad? Did I commune with the dead at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery? Did I continue to not understand a single fucking thing about the movie Poltergeist? Let’s find out.
Product: Look guys, this thing happens where I bring the product I’m reviewing somewhere and then I consume it and I get high and I lose the packaging so I dunno the specific brand but it was CBD powder and that’s what’s important.
Ingredients: Crystallized hemp CBD powder
Purchased from: Exhale Med Center
Suggested dosage: Each packet of powder contains 20mg of CBD.
Actual dosage: I had three packets for a total dosage of 60mg, which seemed perfectly reasonable and turned out fine.
Flavor: I had been putting off reviewing this powder because I was afraid it was going to be gross, but those fears were completely unfounded. Turns out CBD powder is what they put in those pills I loved so much. I sprinkled it over some Thai peanut pasta salad and the superfine powder instantly dissolved and blended with the food. No flavor; no powdery mouthfeel even. It was great.
The high: As loyal readers will know, I’ve been on a CBD kick recently. I love the relaxing body high it gives without the uncertainty of THC fucking with my brain. Since I was going to see a screening of Poltergeist in a cemetery, and since I don’t particularly like horror movies to begin with and wanted to keep my shit and my wits about me, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to review this particular product.
My friends and I picked up picnic snacks before heading out, and once we got there I ate my three packets of powder, spaced out over an hour, probably. I wasn’t smoking any additional weed, but I was drinking beer (if ghosts were gonna come out of the goddamn TV, I needed something to dull the senses). And the CBD powder was extremely chill — I didn’t even freak out at the movie once, probably because it turns out Poltergeist is not actually scary and makes very little sense in any kind of way. The creepiest part was probably the handyman dudes sexually harassing the 14-year-old daughter on her way to school in the beginning.
At the Hollywood Forever Cemetery there’s a nice little smoking section where you can sit on a mourning bench and smoke your cigarettes and enjoy your tingly body high and ignore the tiny old lady with her tiny old voice exorcising the television or whatever. It’s the end of summer and the nights are still warm and I was just so relaxed and happy to be there with my awesome friends and pretty much just living my best life. The CBD powder was truly the flavorless cherry on top of a marvelous night.
Conclusion: Five out of six hemptastic pot leaves for the powder. While the pure CBD was certainly nice and I’m glad to know it’s an option, I personally prefer CBD that comes with just a little THC; a gentle head high balances out the body high and lets you know that the stuff is working. I have a vape pen that has a 3:1 CBD to THC ratio and it is goddamn delightful. Still, it was a pretty terrific experience overall, and I’ll probably keep some powder in my pantry just in case.
Eloise LeBel is a writer in Los Angeles and MEL’s weed columnist.