Being a gentleman requires more than the occasional please and thank you: It requires courteously navigating every aspect of your life, from paying a bar tab to purchasing sex (if you’re into that kind of thing). Because being a gentleman isn’t always easy, we spent this year teaching you how to approach every situation with your best, most finely-shod foot forward. Such as…
Doing Her Laundry
First, we discussed how not to ruin your girlfriend’s clothes when cleaning them with large machinery and detergent.
tl;dr: As tempting as it may be, don’t toss everything — darks, white and towels — together in the same load. And ask before you accidentally do something terrible to one of her bras.
Buying Her Tampons
After that, we took a trip down the overwhelmingly pastel-floral feminine hygiene aisle to teach you how to buy tampons for your partner.
tl;dr: If your special someone asks for a specific type and brand, for the love of God seek out that specific type and brand.
Buying Sex
Then, we looked at how to buy sex in a way that makes things as easy and fulfilling as possible for you and your prospective provider.
tl;dr: While your provider may enjoy working with you, at the end of the day, remember that they’re doing a job.
Paying a Bar Tab
Next, we tackled how to pay a bar tab without making your bartender’s life hell.
tl;dr: A dollar a drink only works for beer, tightwad.
Entertaining a Lady at Home
Later, we explored the art of making overnight sexy-time guests feel welcome… but not “Norman Bates” welcome.
tl;dr: Go and buy some more pillows, right now.
Being a Good Bar Regular
Following that, we explained the delicate balance of being a bar regular: A fine line that separates the rookie from the pro, the drinker from the friend and the boozer from the bar fly.
tl;dr: Don’t get too wasted, don’t start shit, and for the love of God, don’t mack on your bartender.
Flirting Without Being a Creep
Then came an instructional on how to flirt without being a creep, a story which sadly feels more relevant and important with each passing day.
tl;dr: If you find yourself working hard to keep a conversation going, take the hint: They’re not interested.
Flying a Shitty Airline
Subsequently, we discussed flying a shitty airline without hating yourself (and everyone else crammed into that stupid airplane).
tl;dr: TSA PreCheck can almost overcome the experience of any low-service airline.
Office Dating
Now that we’d helped tamp down the creepiness, we navigated the intricacies of dating a colleague.
tl;dr: TAKE IT SLOW! And keep HR informed.
Being a Good Customer on Black Friday
We later explored how to shop on Black Friday without trampling a toddler.
tl;dr: Don’t forget you’re dealing with fellow human beings.
Returning a Present You Hate
After that, we talked through taking back all the weird crap you got for Christmas without pissing off the gift givers.
tl;dr: Your best bet is to never tell anyone for the rest of eternity.
Buying Gifts for Your Partner’s Family — for the First Time
And most recently, we taught you how to buy gifts for your partner’s family (every last aunt, uncle, cousin and family friend).
tl;dr: It’s simple! Have your partner buy gifts for their family from the both of you.
