Photo by Zak Stone

Commodified Wokeness

Buying your politics to show the world you’re “woke” has never been easier

If you are woke in 2017 and you don’t perform it, are you really even woke? These days, it’s not just enough to be on the right (progressive) side of history; you’ve also got to let everyone know about it constantly, and in the most obnoxious way possible. In spite of what being woke is actually supposed to mean, one of the easiest ways to achieve peak wokeness is to head to the mall, where it’s commodified like crazy. You know, because capitalism.

To the delight of cuckbois everywhere, we’ve amassed a collection of items that attempt to tell the world “I’m woke” so your actions don’t have to. How simple!

The pic that started it all—a vanity plate seen outside the MEL office
For-profit anti-Trump merchandise
Shoes from Adidas’ PRIDE line
Anti-Trump merchandise | Pussy Hats from the Women’s March | “Punch Nazis” Arabic T-shirt

Clothing from the for-profit brand StayWoke, at left worn by controversial activist DeRay McKesson
Black Lives Matter and feminist-branded t-shirts
The controversial Nike Pro Hijab, created as a halo product meant to lend an image of social consciousness to the Nike brand
A t-shirt from Levi’s Pride collection | A branded message from DeRay McKesson
A few of the hundreds of BLM mugs available online
More political statements in the form of cotton and Moby performing his veganism
Woke merch for newborns
…And the unborn
…and even the dead.